A TALE OF TWO SENTIENT LIFE FORMS

CHAPTER I

Zanboloch laid in his sleeping chamber, staring at the ceiling as if he hated it, his normally purple-blue skin going green with despair, having a silent grumble to himself. Despite the sleep-enhancing benefits of his “bed” he felt like he had been lying awake for the entire night.

Yesterday had been an absolute nightmare. Well, not literally, because otherwise he would have been able to wake up several hours earlier.
Slick was both the Captain of the relatively small space station they were on and also Sergeant of the (admittedly undertrained) squad that Zanboloch belonged to, and he was a bit of a…difficult person.

He insists that everyone calls him ‘Captain’ instead of ‘Sergeant’ because apparently Captain is a higher rank. Yesterday, he had ordered the entire squad to do a round of mech sparring. (Exactly what it sounds like) Mech sparring may sound awesome to an inexperienced ear, but in reality it is torture.

The mech was designed for brute strength, destroying stuff, and looking cool. It had short, stubby legs, humongous arms that looked like they could punch a hole in the hull of a Warship, and a smallish torso which housed a sterile, vacuum-proof environment that a pilot could be strapped in.
It looked a lot like a giant, bashed-up metal gorilla with a glass chest.

Mech Sparring is like participating in a street fight with 10 kilograms strapped to each of your limbs, all the while knowing that your judgemental Sergeant/Captain and your comrades (who don’t really have anything better to do than to watch) are just waiting to poke fun at your form, or your mistakes or literally anything you do wrong.
Zanboloch was probably the second most novice person in his squad, which he pretended to be ashamed of but deep down all he could feel was relief that he wasn’t the first most novice.

He was sore, aching, and even felt a bit sniffly.

And today was the day he was going into battle.

Zanboloch sat up with a bolt and smashed his head on the top of his sleeping pod.
He growled in frustration and punched the “retract” button.
He had completely forgotten that he was finally travelling to “Earth” to battle the “humans” as they called themselves and their home planet.
It was still 2 or so hours until the squadron’s space station reached Earth, but Captain Slick insisted that everyone got up bright and early and train, train, train.

He gazed out his extensive window. He had made sure he called dibs on the room with the best view of the space station, even if it was the smallest.

He could see and name every major part of it from here.
It would rather remind any human of a ginormous, futuristic robotic ocean sunfish, with wings on the back that could fold inwards for landing, small, circular lumps with cannons attached to them dotted all over it, the massive main engine propelling the ship forward, sparking mighty blue flames, and the Mech Room, with neat lines of empty mechs ready to fight, and last and definitely least, the Captain’s Quarters.

Zanboloch breathed mist onto the spot on the glass where the Captain’s Quarters were, and then drew a scowling poo emoji sticking its tongue out.
He still had no idea, after almost a year of working for him, why the Captain was such a jerk. Maybe it was just that he was neglected during an important part of his development and was a prick to fill his heart hole, or something weird like that.

Zanboloch threw on his uniform and shot out the automatic door of his mini apartment.
His boots clomped across the white, glossy tiles, and flew through also white corridor.
He ran past his comrade’s own apartments. The doors were open, and there was no one inside any of the rooms.

He checked his watch and swore loudly. The foul word echoed along the seemingly endless corridor.
He was 30 minutes late. The Captain would have his stripes.
He followed his senses to the cinema, where the rest of the troops had gathered.
But they weren’t enjoying themselves.
The cinema was there for daily broadcasts from Zanboloch’s home planet, Xingfeng.
The movies were mainly just pep talks, briefings, and quite boring.
If he could just sneak past Captain Slick and sit next to his sister…

“PRIVATE ZANBOLOCH! GET OVER ‘ERE!!”

Zanboloch stumbled towards his green-faced Captain.

Slick just stood there, staring at him furiously.
Unsure of what to do, Zanboloch just waved.

Big mistake.

Slick grabbed his arm, shoved it high into the air, and waved it around.
“Oooh! Oooh! Look at me! I’m Private Zaaaaaaanboloch! Helllooooo! I love to WASTE EVERYONE’S TIME!!!!!”

The squad was unsure wether to look at what their Captain was doing or to keep looking at the TV, as Slick had told them to do nothing but keep their eyes on the screen.

After a few moments of painful silence, Slick announced,
“Thanks to the Private’s LATENESS…” He poked Zanboloch in the stomach,
“You’ll all have to enjoy the briefing again, FROM THE START!!”

A tsunami of groans, boos and hisses filled the room and Zanboloch sat down.
He tried his meek little wave again, but that just made things worse.

Maybe now would be a good time to fill you in on Zanboloch’s extraterrestrial anatomy.

Zanboloch was a “Xingfengese” his home was a water-based planet far from Earth ruled by an Emperor.
The Xingfengese arose from amphibious ancestors, and then became significantly technologically advanced.

They have a generally humanoid figure, but have lightish blue skin which turns into purple with age and bright green with anger.
They also have just the right amount of a now evolutionarily redundant tail that is small enough to be completely useless and big enough to be very annoying.

It was now that Zanboloch was fidgeting in his seat, trying to position his tail so it didn’t push into his back.

A relatively young girl compared to the rest who was seated next to Zanboloch piped up and said, “Knock knock.”
Zanboloch sighed.
“Who’s there.” He said flatly.
“Uni.”
“Uni who?”
“Unincompoop. I told you to come EARLY, not late!”

Zanboloch sighed again.
His sister, Poioy, was almost 4 (human) years younger than him (with Zanboloch being the human equivalent of a 22 year old), but she was somehow the best person in the platoon, second to only Captain Slick himself.

“Poioy, 9:30 is too early for me.” Grumbled Zanboloch, rubbing his eyes.
“Well, tough luck for you, the rest of the world gets up at 7:30. Now focus on the briefing.”
Zanboloch looked up at the screen. It was on the main menu, and the selector icon was zipping all over the place. He turned around to stare at Captain Slick, who was sweating and fumbling with the remote control.
Slick caught Zanboloch’s stare and pulled a face and did a very rude gesture.

Zanboloch ran his hands through his non-existent hair. It had become a habit after he saw a picture of a human (who had a particularly extravagant head of hair) and imagining having hair of his own. He still couldn’t decide wether he liked the idea of it.

Finally, with a triumphant grunt, Slick managed to click the right button, and the briefing filled the screen.
Today it was one Emperor’s primary servants, Lola, who was given the drudgery of recording a broadcast.
She was very sort, and had a sort of pointy look about her.
Sort of like a highly intelligent chihuahua, but instead of biting you she’d whisper in the Emperor’s ear about you, or just make life hard by fining you or something.

“Soldiers of the Emperor’s Grand Army.” She said, her pompous voice made painfully loud by the microphone.
“The humans have pulled a highly unethical move. They have come to Xingfeng with a small strike team and dropped bombs on the capitol.”
Lola paused and nodded solemnly as if she could hear the soldiers gasping and also choking on their food.
“They aimed for civilian households, and completely destroyed an apartment block and everyone inside!”
She paused and nodded solemnly again as a video of the human Starfighters dropping their bombs on the apartments popped up beside her.

“There is now only one way to save our race: we must rid the universe of these violent creatures. We will fight back!” She declared, punching the air with a tiny fist.

The room was filled with the wild cheers of soldiers.

“Ahh! No! I don’t wanna fight back! I wanna be safe? Don’t you guys want to be safe, too?” Cried a rather awkward soldier as he stood up and faced the others.

There was silence. Somebody farted loudly. Considering how Captain Slick didn’t instantly begin yelling about it, it was probably him.

Slick sighed.
“Fred, this is why you’re the 1st most terrible person in the squad. Heck, you’re even worse than Private Zanboloch over there, and his farting issue.”

Zanboloch’s face went from shame to pure, comical shock.

“Listen, Fred. Everyone. You are a soldier. You fight for what’s right, and when you fight you may die. But for good reason.” Slick sighed.
“DIE?! Agh! Wait till Mummy finds out about this.” Yelped Fred.
Slick groaned.
“You know, Fred, if you weren’t my little brother, I would have kicked you out of this squad long ago.” Grumbled the Captain.

Suddenly, an enormous explosion rocked the station. The lights flickered and went dark, and were replaced by ghoulish red ones that made the whole place look like a vampire’s funeral.

The ship rumbled, creaked and then made a long, drawn out grinding sound.
Several more explosions slammed into the ship and chaos ensued.

Soldiers screamed like a bunch of dying frogs and clung onto eachother while Poioy began yelling and ran around flailing her sword, looking for a human to stab.

“IT’S THE HUMANS!!” Roared Slick over the din.
“Everyone, finish that popcorn, man your stations, prepare to be boarded! The battle has come to us early!”

CHAPTER II

Zanboloch stumbled around, trying to find somewhere to help.

Jump in a Starfighter? No, he would just get himself killed.
Try to turn the lights back on? Too easy!

Zanboloch donned his helmet and contacted Slick over the radio.
“Slick! What do I do, uh, sir?”
“I dunno…go fix the lights or something. Visibility is important.” He grunted.

Zanboloch groaned. Yeah, sure, i’ll just hide away and do something somewhere where I won’t trip over my own feet, he thought.

He trudged (well, ran, but he certainly felt like trudging) over to the electrical room when a section of the wall vanished in a cloud of smoke and a loud BANG.

Zanboloch gasped, and then choked. The humans were here. Inside the space shuttle. He stood there, petrified. He had probably forgotten he had a laser gun on his belt.
The shape of one of the most feared creatures in the galaxy emerged from the suffocating smoke.
The humans wore formidable silver chest plates (however dinged and very bashed-up) and a helmet (made out of the same material as the chest plate) that looked quite similar to that of an english knight.

“Oi, look! A gurgle-gut! Blast ‘im!” Yelled a human.
Zanboloch didn’t have time to be insulted by this very offensive racial slur, because he had to face his imminent death first.
Luckily, he didn’t have to, because Poioy stepped in and deflected the laser with her sword.
“Get out your GUN!!!” Screamed Poioy over the noise as she began slaughtering the humans.
Zanboloch was frozen, as if his brain was only just fully comprehending what was happening.
He saw Poioy sink her sword into the back of many a soldier, and many a soldier manage to knick her flesh with their own weapon.

Suddenly, as Poioy struck down the last human soldier, there was a massive, echoing BOOM!! And Zanboloch was yanked back into reality like a yo-yo on a string.

A starfighter had been shot down and slammed into the rear end of the space shuttle, vaporising a chunk of the ship.

There was a lurch, and then a gradual feeling of weightlessness.
“W-woah…” Mumbled Zanboloch as he began floating.
“Urgh! The artificial gravity generator must have gotten smashed!” Growled Poioy.
Zanboloch’s face went a dirty, muted, pastel blue.

“I don’t think it’s the gravity generator that got smashed.” Croaked Zanboloch as he stared out the window.

“Then what is it? WHAT HAPPENED!?” Poioy screeched as she floated over to Zanboloch.
The yell died in her throat.

“Oh…” She said, her voice barely above a whisper.

CHAPTER III

Out of the window, there was a great view of the human planet Earth. Zanboloch had seen pictures and holograms of it, but the real thing seemed…so much more beautiful.

Except for the fact that a starfighter had been shot down, smashed into the main engine, and sent the entire ship into a dramatic downward spiral.
Suddenly, a horrible siren ran through the ship, like a robot going down a metal slide.
“WE HAVE TO GET TO THE COCKPIT!!” Poioy roared over the noise.
“WE’LL BE ABLE TO IGNITE THE REVERSE THRUSTERS FROM THERE!!”
And so, the two siblings charged, or rather, bounced through the corridors, racing against time.
The ship entered Earth’s atmosphere, and turned into a raging inferno.

It looked like a flaming metal nugget of dragon poop.

“Finally, the cockpit!” Sighed Poioy.
The pilots seemed to have fainted in their chairs.
“Useless idiots.” Muttered Poioy as she shoved them out of their seats.
Her smug smile immediately vanished at the sight of…
“Oh my fins. Buttons. Buttons, levers. Everywhere.” She groaned.
Poioy may be extremely strong and prodigious in the physical sense, but her mind was not quite as sharp as her various weapons.

“Sister, we’re running out of tiiiime.” Zanboloch said through gritted teeth.

Her staring, twitching and jiggling intensified until she completely lost it and yelled, “BUTTON MASH!!”
She began repeatedly smacking the buttons with open hands, yanked on levers, and twisted everything in sight.
“NO! What are you DOING?!” Screamed Zanboloch.

The red lights changed from red to blue to green and the siren suddenly started playing “The Duck Song”.
Bom bom bom…baddom baddom…a duck walked up to the lemonade stand…

“What the heck is a duck?”
“Beats me.”

Meanwhile outside, in his starfighter, Captain Slick was looking on at his downed spaceship in despair. He could almost hear Poioy screaming for help…

Could he?

“CAPTAIN, SIR, SLICK, HELP! WE’RE STUCK IN THE SHIP!!” Screamed Poioy into her helmet microphone.

It took a moment for Slick’s brain to process what he was hearing.
“Oh, um, yes, I hear you. Private.”
“Sir! My sister is an idiot, sir!” Said the voice of Zanboloch.
“Sir! My sister is mashing the buttons and making everything worse, sir! And what’s a duck, sir!”
“SHUT UP, ZANBOLOCH!!” Yelled Poioy.
“Or is private not a low enough rank for you?!” Finished Slick.

That shut him up.

“Do you see the button labeled “reverse thrusters”?” Sighed Slick.
“Um, yes. What do you think I am, blind?”
“No, I think you’re stupid.” Zanboloch butted in.
“Shut up!”
“Forget your brother! Just push the button!”

Poioy pushed the button.
Nothing happened.
“IT’S NOT WORKIIING!” She screeched.
“Ohhhh no,”, groaned Zanboloch, who was looking out the window, “BRACE YOURSELF!!”

CHAPTER IV

The spaceship slammed into the beach, causing an uproar of sand, water and dust to spray up into the air, which mixed with the smoke from the crashed space shuttle to create a thick, choking smog.

All was quiet except for the crackling of a few fires.
Poioy yanked the helmet off her head and groaned.
The beach they crash-landed on didn’t look very pretty and there didn’t seem to be any signs of humans around. They were safe. For now, at least.

Poioy turned her attention to her brother. He had a plate of metal over his head and he wasn’t moving.

“Zanboloch, are you alive?” Poioy said gruffly, trying to hide her fear.
“Mmmf. Hmph. Five more minutes.”
“WAKE UP! THE HUMANS ARE HERE!!!” She screamed in his ear.

Zanboloch banged his head on the metal.

“We’ll need to call for immediate backup. We’re far too exposed here, we’ll have to move.” Grunted Poioy as she gathered what useful things she could find.
“W-we surrender. P-please d-don’t e-e-e-e-e-EAT us.” Stammered Zanboloch.
Poioy groaned.
“Zanboloch, there aren’t any humans. I just said that to make you get up. Now, find see if you can find anything we might need.”

Nothing happened except the whimpering of Zanboloch.

“Helloooo? Why aren’t you moving?!”

Zanboloch wasn’t moving because there was a gun shoved in his face.

CHAPTER V

“Well, well well.” Said a voice.
“Look what I found.”
The human was quite short, young-looking, but he was suited up in the most magnificent armour, with sword with a jewel-encrusted handle and a top-of-the-notch laser gun.
He wore a mask that mostly featured a blacked-out tinted glass around where his face would be, and there were digital blue eyes that mimicked his facial expression.

“You picked the wrong beach to crash on. There’s an outpost just over that hill. Luckily, I was passing through. You are now prisoners of Earth.”

“Oh dear.” Blurted Zanboloch.
Poioy sighed exasperatedly.

Keeping his gun fixed on them, the human clipped on handcuffs, and bean rambling on about how they were prisoners, and how the humans were going to win the war.

As the human blathered on, Poioy nudged Zanboloch and gestured to something in the sky.
Through the hole in the roof of the crashed ship, Poioy had spotted a large number of Xingfengese attack shuttles descending silently (well, almost silently, but the human was talking too loud to notice).

Zanboloch somehow interpreted Poioy to be gesturing in the complete opposite direction which, just so happened, was the direction of where a multitude of human attack shuttles were approaching.

“We’re saved!” Poioy whispered.
“We’re doomed!” Zanboloch whispered simultaneously.

In less than three seconds, Poioy leapt over and grabbed her sword, then flung herself at the young human and whacked him in the helmet with the flat edge of the sword.
The glass on his helmet cracked and shattered revealing his face.
The roaring of starfighters and the zapping of lasers began thundering across the sky. “Brother!” Cried Poioy. “A great battle is beginning! Follow me, I shall lead our army to victory!”
She charged out of the ship and nearly got blown to smithereens by a laser blast. She hardly even noticed.
Zanboloch watched as the battle raged outside. He winced at every person that was killed, whether it was his own species or a human.
“Come on, brother! Help out!” Shouted Poioy from across the battlefield. A few other soldiers called out in agreement.
Zanboloch groaned and flinched as if struck. He hated moments like this, when everyone expected him to do something that he felt terrible doing.

He looked over at the now unconscious human. He looked about as young as Poioy. Zanboloch picked up the human’s gun and examined it. It was an X-017, which were very rare and costly to make.
“Who are you?” Whispered Zanboloch. He was obviously some kind of royalty. What was he doing on the battlefield?
“PRIVATE ZANBOLOCH! GET UP AND KILL SOMETHING!!!” Yelled Poioy.
Zanboloch jumped, and pulled the trigger on the gun he was holding.

The blast from the gleaming gun shot through the air, out of the downed spaceship, across the beach, up into the sky, and through the window of a human commander’s warship.
The commander, named Ward, was rather fat by human standards. He was notorious for being both ruthless in battles, and was feared by many. His vision and brain was enhanced by cybernetic implants, so he saw the laser bolt coming about 2 seconds before it would reach him. However, he was so used to sitting in a cushy chair, far above the carnage of the battle, that he couldn’t get out of the way fast enough.

The laser blast hit him hard in his flabby belly, killing him instantly. He felt forward, and his head bashed the controls for his warship.
It went up, down, fired a few lasers, did a 360 and then began hurtling down to where Zanboloch now stood in total shock.

“Oops.” He said, not sure what else to say.

“ZANBOLOCH!” Bellowed Poioy.
Zanboloch winced. He was in trouble.
“YOU DID IT!! YOU KILLED THE OPPOSITION’S COMMANDER!!!”
“I did?”
Poioy looked up at the falling warship.
“Oh no. ZANBOLOCH, RUN. RUN!!”

Zanboloch did what he normally did in a situation like this: panicked.
He was about to be blown to smithereens.
Suddenly, the human came back to the land of the living.
“Augh! Ow! Sword! What?” It spluttered.
It followed Zanboloch’s gaze.

“Get out of there!” Zanboloch’s sister’s voice seemed so distant.

The human grabbed its gun, and then bolted.

At least one of them follows my orders, Poioy thought, rolling her eyes.

Zanboloch had seconds to act.

He began following the human, thinking that he would probably know where to run to, seeing as all the equipment he had, but he immediately tripped over his feet and fell into a hole.
He pulled a sheet of scrap metal from the ship over the entrance and braced for impact…

CHAPTER VI

The explosion was louder than anything Zanboloch had ever experienced before. Even with his ears blocked, all he heard was noise. The only thing louder than the explosion was probably his ringing ears.

When his head stopped spinning and his ears finished ringing, everything was dark. He had to poke himself in the eyes to make sure they weren’t still shut.
He rubbed his temples and groaned. He had a blinder of a headache.

Something scrabbled in the darkness, and Zanboloch yelped, jumped up and whacked his head on something metal.

A light flickered on, and it was shined in Zanboloch’s eyes.
It took a while for his pupils to adjust to the sudden brightness.
When they did, he was certainly surprised.

“You!” Started Zanboloch in surprise.
“Yes, me. Who else would it be?” Said the human, confused.
“How did you end up in here? Are you gonna kill me? Are you gonna EAT me?!” Zanboloch said, genuinely worried.
“What?!” Spluttered the human.

There was an awkward silence.
“How did you get in here?” Zanboloch said at last.

The human growled.
“Listen, Xingfeng. The only reason you’re alive is because I haven’t found my gun ye-“
“You mean this gun?” Zanboloch asked, pointing the X-017 right at the human, who grumbled some lame threats.

He looked around the place.
The two seemed to be trapped in a crater that had something metal that was lying over the top.
Keeping the gun pointed at the human, Zanboloch tried to push his way out.

“It’s no use. I’ve already tried. We’re trapped. And lift with your knees, not your spine.” Muttered the human.

Zanboloch sighed and leaned back against the wall.
He opened his mouth to say something, but the dirt crumbled behind him and he fell backwards into some kind of tunnel.

“Gah!” Spluttered Zanboloch as he spat out some dirt.

Suddenly, the human came flying at him and tackled him to the ground.
“Give me my GUN!” He yelled.

Suddenly, they hit and an incline, and began tumbling down a narrow tunnel.

CHAPTER VII

Eventually, tunnel righted itself and became horizontal, and the two came to a painful stop.
Zanboloch rubbed his back and looked around.

There was a sticky, greenish-brownish slime, coating the ground and dripping off the walls, giving off a disgusting, dank smell of a liquidated trash can full of rotten flesh.
Needless to say, it smelt awful.

“Ergh, this place smells awful.” Muttered Zanboloch, holding his nose.
Then he realised that he was no longer the one holding the X-017 gun.

“Turn around.” Said a cold, hard voice.

Zanboloch sighed.

“Look if we’re both down here together, we may as well call a truce. We can help eachother get out of here.”

The human scowled.
“Look, Xingfeng. You can make up whatever truce you want, but you’re still my prisoner.”
Zanboloch sighed again and the trudged along, the ground clinging to their boots as if trying to suck them down.
The further they went along the tunnel, the deeper the slime became.
“Okay, that’s the furthest i’m going.” Said Zanboloch through gritted teeth when the slime began seeping through his boots. As if his feet didn’t stink enough.

The human, though, seemed quite content with the disgusting goop.
“There’s something about this stuff that feels…familiar.” He said uncertainly.

Suddenly, he gasped.
“Look! LIGHT!”
Zanboloch looked. He couldn’t see any light.
“Come on. Follow me. It’s fine. Trust me.”
Zanboloch took one look at the seemingly endless slime and said “No.”
The human shrugged and said, “Suit yourself.” and began wading through the slop.
Zanboloch looked behind himself. It was pitch black without the flashlight.

There was a pause.

“Urrgh!” Groaned Zanboloch, questioning his mental health once again.

“So?” Huffed Zanboloch, about 5 minutes of wading through rancid porridge later.
“Where’s this light of yours?”

The human said nothing. It just stared at the ceiling of the hole.
Suddenly, he whipped out his gun and fired a single shot into the air.
The ceiling crumbled down, a rain of dirt and grit, and the stinking tunnel was bathed in light.

“There it is.” The human said flatly.
“I told you i’d find it.”
“Zanboloch.”
“Huh.”
“My name’s Zanboloch.”

The human drew his gun again.
“Yeah, whatever. Name’s Caleb. You’re still my prisoner.” He muttered.

“Nice to meet you, Caleb.”

CHAPTER VIII

Caleb helped Zanboloch out of the hole and back onto the surface of Planet Earth.
Zanboloch breathed in deeply.
“Ahhh. I can’t believe how much it stank down there.”
“I actually thought it kind of smelt…not too bad.”
Zanboloch gave Caleb a funny look.
Humans are so weird. He thought. He would never have assumed any living thing would be able to wade through that and not be scarred for life.
Then he noticed something.
“Hey, there’s a path of the sludge. It seems to be going that w-“

Suddenly, something gurgled.

The two stopped dead in their tracks.
“Did you hear that?”
They followed the trail of ooze up a hill, and then instantly ducked back behind it.
“What the HECK WAS THAT?!” Zanboloch whisper-shouted in Caleb’s ear.
They peeked around once again.
It was a disgusting looking insectoid creature. It seemed to be leaving the trail of slop, its body just melting into the ground, as if it was made of the disgusting fluid.
It was like a giant praying mantis that was the size of a car, but only its head and one of its arms remained of it. It dragged itself forward, inch by inch, as if it were desperately trying to get somewhere.
As it reared up and screeched loudly, Zanboloch could hardly stifle a gasp.
The creature’s head snapped in their direction.
It screeched again, turned around and began dragging itself towards the two, as if they were its last and only hope of staying alive.

“GAH! Caleb, you have a gun! Shoot it!” Yelled Zanboloch.
“I’m trying, i’m trying!” Spluttered Caleb, frantically clicking the trigger.

“Something’s wrong with it!”
“The gun or your HEAD?! Give it! I’ll do it!”
“No! This is a X-017! You won’t know how to operate it!”
Their bickering went on and on until the mantis was almost upon them, its goopy body bubbling like boiling water…

CHAPTER IX

With a flash of greenish-blue, Poioy came roaring in, all guns blazing.
“EAT LASER, SLIME BUG!!” She bellowed as she spammed her trigger.
“Oh no. Hide!” Hissed Zanboloch to Caleb.
The lasers lashed into the liquid bug like rocks being thrown at a snowman, until the monster was just a puddle of reeking liquid and both Zanboloch and Poioy suddenly had stinking greenish-brown freckles all over their faces.

“Zanboloch! You’re alive!” Gushed Poioy, then checked herself.
“Private Zanboloch. You’re alive. Good work. Now, what the HECK WAS THAT THING?!”
Zanboloch shrugged.
“I don’t know. We just got trapped in a hole and found a tunnel full of that slime. We followed it until we found an exi-“
“Hold on, hold on.” Said Poioy, waving her hands.
“‘We’?”
Zanboloch froze. He knew that if Poioy found out he allied with a human then she would go ballistic and he would probably get banished from the empire.

“Uh, we? Did I say…I didn’t say…who?” Zanboloch said weakly.
Poioy looked at him with narrowed eyes.

Zanboloch began hyperventilating and sweating.

“ZANBOLOCH! POIOY!!” Bellowed a gruff voice, shattering the silence like a golf ball flying at a window.

The squat form of Captain Slick rounded a hill.
He was huffing and puffing by the time he got to them.
“Private Zanboloch! Good, you’re alive. Now, what, the heck, is that?” He said in a deceptively calm voice, pointing at the puddle of slime.

Zanboloch shrugged. “I dunno.” He said.
Slick exploded, his face going a bright, vivid green.
“I dunno?! I DUNNO?! You disappear for ages, your sister practically threatens to quit if I don’t send a rescue team to find her,” He at Poioy, who blushed and looked away, and then at the small group of men behind him,
“And then you say, I DUNNO?!”

Zanboloch quivered.
“Well, if you put it like that…”
He filled everyone in on his story, about falling in the hole and getting trapped, following the stinky tunnel, and the weird monster made out of slime.
He carefully made no mention of the human.

Captain Slick sighed and rubbed his temples.
“Well, whatever the case, you can write a full report when we get back to our new space shuttle.”

Zanboloch groaned. He hated filing reports. There was nothing like enduring a horrific experience and then being forced to recall it all and put it down in words without any trace of emotion.

“Zanboloch? Hel-LO?!” Yelled Poioy, waving her hand in front of his face.
“It’s TIME to GO!!”

As the team moved out, Zanboloch stole a look at the human, peeking out from the hole they climbed out of.
“Uh, Poioy? I…I think I dropped something over there. I’ll stay back for a second and look for it.”
Poioy grunted in reply.

Zanboloch ran over to Caleb.
“What’s happening?” Caleb whispered.
“I’m going back to the shuttle.” Replied Zanboloch.
“Ok. See you then, Zanboloch.”
And with that, the human climbed out and started to run off.
“No, wait, wait! They will drop an Magma Stirrer on the beach once we’ve all gone.”

“A what?”

Zanboloch sighed.

“A Magma Stirrer. It’s a special type of signal that drags magma up from the Earth’s mantle onto its crust, causing magma to seep over the designated area, killing everything touching the ground. The frequency even keeps the magma from solidifying. Once the job is done and everything is dead, they drop a fire-resistant robot emitting the same signal down the hole where the magma came out of, which drags it all back down again, including any water that might be in the immediate vicinity, solidifying the magma (once the robot melts and stops emitting the signal) effectively patching the hole in the Earth’s crust.”

Caleb stared at Zanboloch blankly.

“It’s this noise that pulls lava up from under the surface of the Earth, washes it over the land, and then shoves it back down its hole.” Zanboloch said irritably.

Zanboloch did not like Magma Stirrers. They wiped out literally everything, even plants and animals that had nothing to do with the battle.

“Then what the heck am I supposed to do?”

Zanboloch thought for a moment.

CHAPTER X

Zanboloch tried to act as natural as possible as he walked up the ramp into Slick’s new space shuttle.
Which, naturally, he was terrible at.
“Hey-hey, sissy sis! That was…a…big battle we just went through!”
Poioy roundhouse kicked him in the stomach.

Everybody followed eachother to Slick’s conference room (AKA the cinema) but Zanboloch hung around until the airlock was almost shut…
“Now!” He hissed.

The human dived through the rapidly closing gap like an albatross into the ocean, and then promptly face-planted into the hard floor like an albatross who had just realised the ocean was, in fact, cold, hard metal.

Caleb opened his mouth to scream blue murder, but Zanboloch jammed a hand in there to shut him up.
Yes, in Caleb’s mouth. Oops.

In his confusion, Caleb instinctively bit down on the squishy thing inside his mouth.

Zanboloch opened his mouth and swore louder than he ever had before. The foul word echoed through the corridors.

All was quiet until the stomping of boots began getting closer, and closer.
“HIDE!” Hissed Zanboloch.
“Where?” Spluttered Caleb.

Zanboloch picked him up and shoved him into a trash vent.

“W-w-w-w-what was that?” Said the squeaky voice of Fred, the 1st most novice person in the squad.

Zanboloch tried to say “Nothing!” and “I don’t know” at the same time, but all that came out was “No don’t thing.”

Fred stared right past Zanboloch.
Zanboloch followed his gaze.
Caleb’s foot was sticking out of the trash vent.

Zanboloch frantically kicked the foot. It made a muffled noise of pain and slid downward.

Fred puffed himself up to his full height.
“I heard something there. I know it. That is why I am placing you, UNDER A-ARREST!!”
He yelled.

Suddenly, Captain Slick rounded a corner.
Zanboloch put his head in his hands. It was over. He was going to be shoved in prison for harbouring a human.

“What’s going on here?” He growled dangerously.
“Him!” Fred squeaked, pointing a quivering finger at Zanboloch.
“He is to be arrested and put in jail for a…a long time, for committing the worst crime of all…”

Captain Slick’s face went from anger, to shock and then straight down to furious.

“SAYING A NO-NO WORD!!” Fred’s words echoed through the room dramatically.

Zanboloch breathed a huge sigh of relief. Nothing bad was going to happen to him.

Slick went from furious to absolutely livid.

“IS THAT IT?!” He roared.
“Well, not really. There is the thing about the trash vent.” Fred said matter-of-factly.

Zanboloch froze.

“He didn’t put a bit of trash in there properly. It got stuck. But then he pushed it all the way down. So everything’s fine.”
Zanboloch couldn’t agree more.
However, Slick begged to differ.

He began bellowing and screaming so loud that he didn’t even notice the fact that Zanboloch wisely used this time to haul Caleb out of the trash, and the two silently scampered off while Slick verbally unloaded on his little brother.

CHAPTER XI

“You’re still my prisoner, you know.” Said Caleb, up in Zanboloch’s new room.
“Yeah, yeah.” Muttered Zanboloch as he continued typing up his report. Normally he would just simply use a special device that translates your memories into words, but he didn’t need the full story of what had happened on that beach in the Emperor’s Archives.
So he was typing it up on a physical, old-fashioned keyboard today. Besides, using the device mostly made his head hurt and put an outrageous price on his accomodation bill.

“What are we going to do now?” Asked Caleb suddenly.
Zanboloch mumbled something about filing a report.
“No, about me. What’s going to happen to me?”
Zanboloch hesitated.
“What? Are you going to let me go, with a tracking device implanted into me? Once i’m home, are you going to come back and…and massacre everyone?”

“No! I would never do that!”

“But wouldn’t that make you a traitor?” Caleb said coldly.

Zanboloch sighed sadly and went back to his report. He decided to edit the story so that Caleb - sorry, the human - ended up getting blown up when the warship fell out of the sky. Zanboloch rubbed his eyes. Today had been exhausting. Even more exhausting than… that time…when…

Zanboloch was awoken with a jolt by the arm that was supporting his head. It gave way, and his head bashed into the keyboard. He groaned audibly.

“You alright?”
“Yeah, I just banged my head.”

Zanboloch clicked “Submit” and slumped back in his chair. He thought he might take a bit of a nap for a while…

Caleb spotted the sleeping Zanboloch. He crept over and waved his hands over Zanboloch’s eyes. Out cold. He wasn’t going to wake up anytime soon.

Not taking his eyes off Zanboloch, he pulled a screen, much like an iPhone of many years ago - maybe the 2020s? Caleb banished the thought and dialled a number on his phone.

“We have a situation.” Said Caleb to the shadowy figure on his screen.

CHAPTER XII

About thirty minutes later, Caleb had hung up on the shadowy figure and was now playing some games. The game he was playing was called Minecraft.
“Dang, this game is so old.” He muttered.

Suddenly, the computer dinged and Caleb screamed and dropped his phone.

“Wassat?” Mumbled Zanboloch sleepily.

Caleb fumbled with the phone. Zanboloch couldn’t find out he had any means of communication.

“The Emperor demands your presence in the throne room immediately.” Said a clipped, pompous-sounding voice.

Zanboloch awoke, for the second time, with a jolt.
Caleb scooted over the source of the voice, the computer.
“Who is that?” Asked Caleb, pointing at the shrewd face on the screen.
“She looks like a chihuahua.”
Zanboloch made a noise that was halfway between a chuckle and a snort.
“That’s Lola. The Emperor’s assistant. I have no idea was a chihuahua is, but I bet it’s something offensive.”

Lola scowled.
“I can HEAR YOU, YOU KNOW. THIS IS A LIVE MEETING.”
Zanboloch shoved Caleb out of the frame and tried to look alive and innocent. But after allying himself with a human, and dragging himself through a subterranean tunnel of horrendous-smelling slop, he was neither of those things.
“Hello, Lola, your majesty. I am here. And I am Zanboloch.” He spluttered.

Lola’s scowl grew even more pronounced. She even bared her teeth a little.

“That is no way to treat Emperor Gairake’s assistant. Report to the docking bay of your ship immediately. And just wait until Emperor Gairake hears about your insolence.”

It took Zanboloch a moment to realise what she was saying.

“The…the Emperor wants me to visit him?” He spluttered.

Lola scowled even more. The lines on her face signified that she probably did this a lot.

“YES. And he wants you there as soon as possible. Report to your docking bay, I am coming to pick you up.” She said through gritted teeth, as if talking to a rather stupid five-year-old.

Lola tapped some button that was off-screen. Nothing happened. Retaining eye contact, she began randomly mashing the keyboard until she disappeared, her face replaced by a timer.

“The shuttle is coming in 7 minutes. She’s serious. We have to go.”

Caleb looked at Zanboloch as if he was insane.

“She might be serious, but you can’t be. You have no idea why he’s bringing you to his ship, or what he might do to you.”

“And where did you get this distrust from?”

Caleb slumped. “My uncle. The Emperor. The human Emperor.”

Zanboloch’s eyes widened. “You’re the nephew of the feared Emperor Carne?!”

“Yeah. He told me that the Xingfengese are vicious creatures who adore bloodshed, and would do anything to spread their plague across the galaxy.”
“OUR Emperor said exactly the same thing.”

There was a pause.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were Emperor Carne’s nephew?”

“Because I was scared you were going to kill me if you found out.”

There was yet another pause.

“My Uncle always told me to never trust anyone but my closest allies. He taught me to hate humans, especially your Emperor.”

“Emperor Gairake has his flaws, but in the end, he really just wants to save our civilisation.” Zanboloch reasoned.

The two sat in silence.

“Come on, Caleb.” Sighed Zanboloch eventually.
“I’ll prove to you that Emperor Gairake isn’t the guy your Emperor claims him to be.”

CHAPTER XIII

Zanboloch shifted uneasily in the shuttle. It wasn’t because the seats were uncomfortable, far from it. They were soft and luxurious. It wasn’t that Lola had fixed him with a death stare that felt like it was boring a hole in his face. No, it was because Caleb was screaming into his helmet communication device.
All he could hear was rumblings, whooshing, and a whole bunch of garbled screams and yells.
This was because Zanboloch had the bright idea to strap him to the outside of the shuttle …in a mech, stole from Captain Slick’s ship.
The sterile environment prevented Caleb from suffocating in space, and the magnetic hands and feet allowed him to cling to Lola’s space shuttle.

At one stage, they went through an asteroid field, and Zanboloch could hear the space rocks clanging into the hull of Lola’s ship, and Caleb’s shouts got increasingly louder and more offensive.

Finally, they reached the Emperor’s flagship, and boy, was it a sight to behold. It was positively massive, could have been over 2 kilometres long.

It was shaped like the head of a rather wicked-looking trident, with two arms bending in and one in the middle shooting straight forward.
It looked as if construction work was being done on the three points, but the shuttle went down under and into the docking bay before Zanboloch (or Caleb) could get a good look at it.

“Hey…this ship looks exactly like my Emperor’s ship.” Mused Caleb over the comms.
“Shush!”
Eventually, the shuttle landed and Caleb ducked out of view.
“Follow me.” Said Zanboloch over the comms, “but stay out of sight.”
Caleb wondered how in the world he was going to do that in a giant spaceship crawling with aliens.

The trek through the smooth hallways of Emperor Gairake’s spaceship was intolerably long. After about 30 minutes of walking Zanboloch almost sat down right where he was and refused to get up again, but Lola’s piercing glare forced him onwards, constantly checking behind his back for Caleb.

Finally, they reached the grand gates of the Emperor’s Throne Room.
It was a humongous place, with a majestic arched ceiling and columns that stretched up and around, all focusing, leading or pointing to an grand, elaborate throne, on which a figure was seated.

“Presenting his excellency, Emperor Gairake.” Lola declared, rather unnecessarily.

Zanboloch bowed deeply. This was the first time he had seen the Emperor in real life. He’d only ever seen him on broadcasts, and even that was once in a blue moon.

He wore golden armour seemingly made out of scales underneath his theatrical dark red cape, and looked about 2 metres tall.
But by far the most imposing about him was his helmet.
It was sort of reminiscent of a human gas mask, but it looked like it was made of titanium, there were two horns that resembled razor-sharp metal antlers, and the eyeholes were black pools of darkness that seemed to stare into Zanboloch’s soul.
He was hunched over, gripping the arms of his throne like he was in the middle of a hurricane.

“Welcome, Private Zanboloch of Squad 9,410.” Boomed the Emperor in a smooth male voice that was shadowy to begin with, but was made three times more sinister by the mask.
Okay, Zanboloch willed himself as he bowed deeply and kneeled on the floor. This is the most important person you have ever met. Be cool. Be confident, but not insubordinately so.

Zanboloch made a noise that was somewhere between the laugh of a hyena and the squeak of a hamster. (Not that Zanboloch knew what a hyena or a hamster was)

Emperor Gairake chuckled. A warm chuckle of a voice that seemed so smooth and clipped. Even so, it made Zanboloch shudder.

“I read your report on what happened on the battlefield yesterday. About how you crash-landed the shuttle, and that human. Your description of the human was most…intriguing.” There was a brief pause and Zanboloch gulped.

“Your description was, and I quote…” Emperor Gairake said, looking at a screen he had seemingly pulled out of nowhere, “‘The human wore a cape, golden armour, a helmet with eyes, which is freaky, and kind of stupid…” Zanboloch winced. Even though this sort of writing was common among soldiers, he wished he hadn’t said anything of the sort now that it was being read aloud by the Emperor.

“‘He had a X-017 model laser gun, and a jewel encrusted sword.’”
The Emperor stopped reading.
“Do you know who you just encountered?”
Zanboloch knew full well who the human was, but he shook his head.
“You just came across the opposition’s prince, General Caleb.”

Zanboloch tried to pretend to be shocked, but he was a terrible actor. Luckily, the Emperor didn’t seem to notice.

“Are you absolutely sure you saw him dead?” Asked the Emperor.
That simple sentence terrified Zanboloch more than almost anything he had experienced in his life so far.

“Y-y-y-yes, your majesty. He was crushed by the falling warship. But, I guess, there is a chance he survived…” Stammered Zanboloch.

“Are you sure you didn’t aide in the human’s escape?” Said the Emperor, sitting forward in his chair, his tone hardening.

Zanboloch’s brain nearly shut down then and there. He began shivering.

“I-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i d-d-didn’t help the h-human…” He squeaked.

“Okay.” Said the Emperor, his tone returning to normal.
“Another thing that interested me was the creature you encountered. I believe you called it a…” He consulted the screen again, “A stinky slime…‘bkmypnbk’?”

Zanboloch’s face went so green he thought it would explode. He forgot to fix the part where his face began typing instead of his hands.

“Y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-yes, your m-majesty. I believe that was a spelling error. I meant to say, uh, a stinky slime bug. I also believe the slime from the bug was the slime we, I mean I, saw in the tunnel.”

“Interesting. Very interesting.”

The Emperor stood up and walked over to a grand window, overseeing a panoramic view of a blackness speckled with the bright lights of distant stars.

“Thank you, Private Zanboloch. Your information is appreciated. You may go.”

Zanboloch breathed a huge sigh of relief and scampered away, out of the double doors, happy to escape from any more total and utter humiliation.
The Emperor hadn’t suspected a thing.

Suddenly, someone grabbed him and yanked him into a closet.

CHAPTER XIV

Before Zanboloch had time to scream, the soldier pulled off his helmet.
“Shut up! It’s me.” Said the familiar voice of Caleb.
“I heard the whole thing through the doors. One, you’re a terrible speller. Bug is spelled B-U-G and not B-U-F-Q-M-O-L or whatever you said. And two, I think the Emperor’s voice sounds familiar.”

“What do you mean?”
Caleb chewed his lip. “I don’t know. I just feel like i’ve talked to-“
He gasped.
“Emperor Carne! My Uncle sounds exactly like your Emperor.”
Zanboloch raised an eyebrow. Or, more accurately, the patch of skin where his eyebrows would be if his species grew hair.
“That sounds a bit far fe-“

Suddenly, the closet doors were thrown open by a short old lady.
“Lola! Um, I, we were…” Stuttered Zanboloch.
Caleb hurriedly turned around to put his helmet back on. “Ma’am. I was just, uh, talking to Private Zanboloch here about the Emperor’s, and uh, your, esteemed greatness.” And he bowed deeply, stepping out of the closet.

Lola’s eyes narrowed.
“Neutralising my suspicion with flattery. Smart. Let’s go get you back to your ship, Private.”

Zanboloch followed Lola, with Caleb close behind.
“I’m still suspicious of Emperor Gairake.” Whispered Caleb to Zanboloch.
“Okay. But what does that…ohhh no. You can’t stay here and poke your nose where it doesn’t belong. When they find out you’re a human, they’ll obliterate you!”

“I don’t care. I’ll find the truth, even if it kills me.” And with that, Caleb ran back down the corridor.

Zanboloch looked at Lola, who was playing games on her phone and was about to bump into a pole.

He sighed in frustration and hurried after his friend.

CHAPTER XV

Zanboloch rounded a corner and nearly fainted. Caleb was going right up to a trooper.
“What are you DOING?!” Hissed Zanboloch.
Caleb ignored him and said something to the trooper. The trooper nodded, said something back and handed Caleb a small object that resembled a USB, another old-fashioned trinket from the 2020s.

Caleb nodded in thanks and ran over to Zanboloch.

He pressed a button and a hologram of the Emperor’s entire flagship flickered into view.
“Now we have a map. You’re welcome.” He said.

He stared at the map and frowned.
“That’s…odd.”
“What?”
“It’s just that…this looks exactly like the schematics of Emperor Carne’s warship…”
The more Caleb stared at it, the more prominent his expression became.
“Why would they be exactly the same?”

Zanboloch shrugged.

Caleb pointed at a big blank spot on the map. There was big red writing beside it.
“What does that say? He asked, being a human, unable to read the Xingfengese language.
“I think it says, ‘OFF LIMITS. ANY UNAUTHORISED LIFE FORMS WILL BE DISINTEGRATED.’”
“Then that’s where we’re heading.”

Zanboloch grumbled something and followed Caleb as he stared at the hologram and jogged through the corridor.

“Are we nearly there yet?” Moaned Zanboloch almost 10 minutes later. Getting around on the Emperor’s flagship was hell. Why on Xingfeng was it so big?!

Eventually, the hallway came to a complete stop.
“We’re here.” He said.
Zanboloch looked around. There was nothing but bare walls.
“No we’re not.” He said blithely.
Caleb shoved the translucent map into Zanboloch’s face.
“That red dot is us. We’re right next to that big blank area.”

Caleb thought for a moment and then walked over to a wall.

“Don’t tell me…” He breathed as he began pressing his hands on the wall in seemingly random places.

There were a series of clicks and rumbling noises until the wall contracted, split in two and rolled to the side, revealing a vast laboratory full of tanks, benches, test tubes and computer.

“Oh, wow. I knew Emperor Gairake was into science, but not this into science.”
Said Zanboloch as he went over and examined something in one of the bubbling tanks full of a greenish slime.

“I don’t believe it.” Whispered Caleb.
“Don’t believe what?” Grunted Zanboloch nonchalantly as he sniffed a test tube.
“This lab…i’ve been here before. It’s exactly the same as the lab on Carne’s ship…”
Zanboloch came barrelling from behind a tank straight into Caleb.
“Hide!” He hissed.

Caleb froze as he heard the click-clack of polished shoes on the polished floor.
He scrabbled around, desperately looking for a place to hide, but eventually was forced to dive behind a bench.

The click-clacks got closer and closer until they entered the room. He wore a mask that was a bit like a down-graded version of Emperor Gairake’s, and a labcoat. His posture seemed terrible, he was clutching a beaker of some sort of bright green liquid, and was hiccupping uncontrollably.
He immediately strolled over to the workbench and started mixing the contents of the test tubes.
This was good, because it meant he was making noise and concentrating on something other that looking for intruders.
But it was bad because a hyperventilating human was lying on the other side of his bench.

CHAPTER XVI

Caleb tried to get off his front so he could crawl, but his armour ground against the floor, causing the scientist guy to look up and grunt. The two were so on edge even this small happening was like being told the world was going to end in 20 seconds.
Zanboloch shook his head so much Caleb thought it would fly clean off.

He knew that Caleb would never escape on his own…
He desperately began to think. He couldn’t use his gun because then it would be obvious someone was here…and he couldn’t move any of the—

Suddenly, he reached across and bumped something off the bench onto Caleb’s side.
Unaware of how much panic he was causing, he went round to pick up the thing he dropped.
He stared at the frozen Caleb.
And then looked to the bottle in his hand.
He snorted and poured the liquid down a sink and retreated back to wherever he came from, hiccupping to himself.

After they had calmed down, Zanboloch and Caleb began sneaking around, trying to find something that seemed nefarious.
“There’s nothing here to suggest that Emperor Gairake is up to anything bad. Sure, he has a secret lab. But making new, uh, advancements is how we win the war.”
He looked over at Caleb.

“Sorry.”

Caleb sighed. “There’s nothing for it. We both belong to two warring species. Come on.”

He tried to stand up, and banged his head on the workbench. Hard.

Then the floor beneath him vanished.

CHAPTER XVII

Caleb slammed into the floor back first.
“Oooooow.” He groaned loudly.
Caleb looked up. He must have fallen a good 3 metres. Luckily he was wearing armour, otherwise he would have broken something for sure.
Zanboloch’s silhouetted head appeared above him.
“What just happened??” He squeaked.

Caleb stood up. “Uhhh...”
He took a step backwards into a smooth surface that beeped.
Blue light flooded the small, blank, metal room as two holographic squares materialised in front of Caleb.

“I’m hearing a lot of beeping and whirring. It would be nice to have an update on what’s happening down there.” Called Zanboloch, squinting down into the almost-blackness.

Caleb squinted at the two blue squares.

“I think it’s a handprint scanner, with a holographic keypad next to it.” He called back.
“How did you even get down there? Where did the floor go?!” Spluttered Zanboloch.
Caleb thought for a moment.
“There must have been a secret button on the bottom of the desk. I must have accidentally pressed it when I banged my he—“

“WHO’S THERE?!” Bellowed a mechanical voice.

Zanboloch jumped, lost his balance and fell screaming all the way down into the secret room and landed with a thud on the cold metal floor.

The owner of the mechanical voice approached with the click-clack of their polished shoes. It was the scientist they had seen before.

He looked down at the shocked looking human and the Xingfeng splattered onto the floor like a squashed frog.

“Ugh. What are…*hic*…doing here?” He mumbled, his helmet making his voice sound like a drunken robot. Which he was. The first half, at least.

“You…are all under arrest. You’re so dead now. Emperor Gairake is going to-“

Zanboloch set his gun to stun and shot the scientist.
He froze, the energy flashing through his body and up to his brain forcing it to shut down.
Which it did. His knees buckled, and he fell down towards Caleb, who tried to catch him, but just ended acting as a human cushion.

“Wanna bet that this guy had access to whatever is on the other side of all this freakish security?” Grunted Caleb.

Zanboloch grabbed the unconscious man’s hand and pressed it onto the hologram. It turned from blue to green and dematerialised with a ding.
“Now for the keycard…ah!” Muttered Zanboloch, palming a flat, rectangular object off the man’s belt and slapping it onto the scanner.
It turned green beeped twice, and vanished. The wall behind it opened with a pneumatic hiss.

A metal slab closed off the ceiling, and rained some foul-smelling liquid onto them.
The disgusting rain lasted for about five seconds before the room was suddenly filled with pleasant-smelling steam, and a door opened to their left.

The room was totally and utterly dark. Zanboloch had to wave his hand at the floor to make sure it existed.

“Where are we?” He said as he slowly stepped out into the blackness.
Caleb shivered. The biting cold had slashed straight through his armour already.
Zanboloch took out a flashlight from his belt.
Even though light definitely came out, the room was somehow still pitch black.
“I think the floor has been painted black. The walls too.” Moaned Caleb.
“Is that a way out?” Asked Zanboloch, squinting at a tiny rectangle of light in the distance.
“I see it. I think it might be. Come on, let’s go.”

Suddenly, the unconscious scientist guy became conscious again with a loud snort and a splutter.
“Urgh! You…get back here! You shall answer to the Emperor for this ridiculo-“ He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the completely dark room.

“Oh no.” He whispered.
“What?”
The scientist began shaking. He slowly scanned the room, looking so hard he might have been trying to find a panther in the inky blackness.

“Have y-you seen it yet? How long have you been in here? ANSWER ME!!” He yelled, grabbing Caleb and shaking him like a wet towel.

“Seen what? We’ve only been in here, like for a few seconds. All there is is black. Is that an exit?” Asked Zanboloch.

The scientist sighed. “There’s still time.” And with that, he shoved past the others and made a beeline for the speck of light in the distance.
“Hey!” Barked Zanboloch as they both ran after him.

The room was completely sparse, they didn’t bang into anything (other than eachother) in the dark. The further in they went, the more rank a smell became.
That smell…It’s like before in the tunnel, thought Zanboloch.

Caleb suddenly screeched to a halt, pointed at something and made a high pitched, absolutely petrified scream that made everyone stop dead in their tracks.

Caleb was pointing to something emerging from the darkness about 20 metres away from them.
All Zanboloch, and anyone else could see of it were two rows of extremely long, sharp and jagged white teeth that seemed to be giving off light, and two burning crimson eyes.

“What…is…THAT?!” Whispered Zanboloch.

The scientist was the first to break out of their petrified daze.

“RUUUN!!” He bellowed at the top of his lungs.

It was like a starting signal for everyone, or rather, everything to GO.

Zanboloch, Caleb and the scientist took off towards the doorway, and their presumable escape, whereas that thing they saw (whatever it was) emitted a massively blinding flash of light that lit up the entire room, and Zanboloch could, for a split second, see the monster’s entire body.

It was ginormous, about three metres tall, and had massive arms that were as thick as tree trunks with dagger-like talons and much smaller back legs.
It ran on all fours like a spider, all the while making a hissing-bellowing noise that sent shivers down Zanboloch’s spine.

Zanboloch and Caleb’s legs were about to give out, but the scientist’s did before theirs.
He tripped over, and was pounced upon like a lightning strike.
The creature bit down on their leg and dragged the poor scientist into the darkness.

Zanboloch and Caleb stood shocked. They couldn’t see anything (thank god) but they could hear it all…

After the creature had completely decimated its victim, it looked up at Zanboloch and Caleb, blood dripping off its teeth.
Red blood.
Human blood.
It began making a guttural growling, gurgling noise that echoed around the empty room.

“Oh, that is MESSED UP!!” Shouted Caleb as they both started running again.

Finally, they shot out of the dark room and entered the light once again.
“Close the door! CLOSE THE DOOR!!” Screamed Zanboloch.
“WHERE? HOW? THERE IS NO DOOR!!” Caleb screamed back.

“IT MUST BE ELECTRICAL— FIND A BUTTON!!”

Caleb looked in panic at the impressive array of buttons and levers before him.

“WHICH ONE?!?!”

“MAYONNAISE!!!”

The monster’s horrible teeth were right outside the doorway.
The duo clenched their teeth and braced for the end…

CHAPTER XVIII

The moment the creature set foot in the bright room, it howled and made a strange hissing noise that sounded like the dousing of fire.
It scrabbled on the floor to get back into the darkness.
The creature’s skin seemed to be red and peeling off like it had been scalded. Which it had been.
By the light! Thought Zanboloch.
It can’t venture beyond the darkness!

“It’s ok, Caleb. It can’t go any further that the darkness. Look, its skin is burning.”

When the two eventually fully calmed down, they took in their surroundings.
They were in a longish room with tables of buttons, levers, knobs, keypads and much more on either side of the place, with surveillance cameras that showed night-vision views of the creature they had just encountered.

“What the heck was that thing?” muttered Zanboloch, staring at the screen.

“It straight up killed that scientist guy. Just ripped him apart.” Moaned Caleb.
“Is there anything useful we can use in here?” Asked Zanboloch.

Caleb grabbed what looked like a rolled-up poster off the bench.
“This is the only thing in the room that isn’t nailed down.”
“A poster. Wow. What’s on it?”

Caleb unrolled it, revealing a completely black rectangle that filled the entire thing.
“Wow, what a cool poster.” Caleb said drily.
Suddenly, the black flashed white, and a holographic keyboard shimmered into view.
“Hey! That’s a computer!”
Caleb stared at it like it was a watermelon which had just grown a face and told him the universe was a simulation.
“This looks just like Emperor Carne’s computer…” He mumbled.
Zanboloch ignored him and immediately began typing on the keyboard.

“This thing could hold all the answers. It could have everything on it.”
The screen beeped, and an empty bar showed up.

Zanboloch bashed his head on the keyboard.
“Dang! We need a passcode.” He hissed.
“But who would know the passcode? Maybe there’s a note somewhere, or-“

The computer screen went green and dinged.
Zanboloch spun around to see Caleb standing in front of it in shock.
“What did you do?!”
“I-I-I entered the passcode to Emperor Carne’s computer. It turned out to be the same…what?!” He spluttered, looking at the screen.

“This is Emperor Carne’s computer!” He breathed.

“It looks the same, its passcode is the same, the files on it are the same!”

He opened an application called “YouCylinder”.
“And this is the stupid cat video I was watching a few days ago!”

Zanboloch was sceptical.
“So you’re saying you used it, like, yesterday, and now its magically appeared here?”

Caleb thought for a moment.

“I don’t know. But I do know that this has to be Emperor Carne’s computer.”

Zanboloch pointed at a file on the screen that had a picture of Emperor Carne’s helmet on it.
“Click onto that.”

Caleb hesitated.
“Emperor Carne always told me that file was off-limits.”

Zanboloch rolled his eyes and clicked onto the file.
A hologram of a masked head was projected into the room. It was made more crudely of metal, and seemed a little more worse for wear, as if it had been around longer. It had no gas mask-like features, except for the same empty, black, staring lenses. It was Emperor Carne.

“This is log entry number two hundred and three.” Said Emperor Carne’s digital head.
The Xingfengese forces were driven back a sector recently. Moving my flagship from Earth to Xingfeng has proven cumbersome and energy-costing.”

“What is he talking about? Emperor Carne has never been to Xingfeng.” Whispered Caleb.

“So, I have decided to place my flagship on a halfway mark of sorts between the planets. The transition from Emperor Carne to Emperor Gairake is also very cumbersome and time-wasting. I may need to revise my armour so it is less of a hassle.” Continued Carne.

“The transition from Emperor Carne to Gairake? What?! How?!” Spluttered Caleb.

“Skip forward.” Said Zanboloch breathlessly.

Suddenly, a different mask was projected.
It was sort of reminiscent of a human gas mask, but it looked like it was made of titanium, there were two horns that resembled razor-sharp metal antlers, and the eyeholes were black pools of darkness that seemed to stare into your soul.

Caleb and Zanboloch recognised it immediately. It was Emperor Gairake.

“This is log entry two hundred and six. Caleb almost witnessed me in my alter form. I must be more careful around that little brat. He is starting to get curious.”

Caleb made a noise that sounded like an elephant with a blocked nose.

“That’s Gairake! Did it switch logs or something? What happened?” He yelped.

Zanboloch looked like he was about to throw up.

“No. It’s the same file.”

“Fortunately, though,” Continued Gairake, “My cover remains intact. He suspects nothing of my double life.
“However, process with the construction of the super weapon is slow. Those numbskull Xingfengese workers have trouble comprehending such advanced technical blueprints.
The human workers are far superior to the Xingfengese. Oh, how they disgust me.” Growled Gairake.

“W-w-what?” Squeaked Zanboloch, his voice barely above a whisper.

“I shall rejoice when the focusing lenses are complete, and I can wipe out the entire planet of Xingfeng in seconds.”

“WHAT?!” Screamed Zanboloch, his voice much louder than a whisper now.

“And then I shall finally reveal to my own race, the humans, how I infiltrated the ranks of Xingfeng, rose to the top, usurped their rule and led them to their demise, all in service of the human race.” He finished, his voice smooth as a pearl, and as determined as a hypocrite who believed he was ridding the world from evil.

Zanboloch rolled up the laptop and the hologram disappeared.
“We have to get this to Sergeant Slick. Or at least my sister, Poioy. This is far too dangerou-“

Suddenly, a cold, metal hand was clapped over his mouth, its sharp fingers piercing his skin.
A hood was whipped over his head, and as he struggled to breathe, all he could think was, Emperor Gairake is a human? I need to tell the others. Poioy, Fred, even Slick.
Poioy…

Caleb…

CHAPTER XIX

“Ah, thank you very much for your assistance, Caleb.” Said the chilling voice of Emperor Gairake.
Caleb’s mouth was not able to produce any noise as he watched Zanboloch get carried away by the Emperor’s Guards.
“Although, I have some inquiries. I am still not sure why you allied yourself with that Xingfeng. May I ask why?” He said as if he was asking about the ingredients of a particularly tasty muffin.

Caleb wasn’t listening.
“NO! Why? Why would you do this? You lied to me! To everyone! The Xingfeng DIDN’T kill our family, did they?” He yelled, shaking.

The Emperor’s tone hardened a little.

“No. Your parents were killed by the Xingfeng. They are cruel, vicious beasts. Also, their feet stink.” Was his verdict.

A noise that sounded like somebody telling the Emperor to shut up came from beneath the hood and the gag.
The Emperor whipped out his hand, and without looking round, clocked Zanboloch in the head with the back of his fist.
A muffled cry rang out from beneath the material, along with a barrage of insults.

“Stop hurting him, you horrible man!”
Emperor Gairake growled. A rattling, otherworldly growl.
“I thought you would last the longest. So naive, so trusting. But it turns out, you’re a failure. Just like the REST OF MY CLONES!!” He roared with such malice that everyone in the area, even the monster in the dark room, trembled.
“Rest of what?” Caleb spluttered.

Emperor Gairake drew a dagger from his belt, and held it high above Zanboloch.
“NO!!” Caleb bellowed as he reached out a hand.
His hand turned an odd colour, and then vanished underneath a coat of sticky, greenish-brownish slime, giving off a disgusting, dank smell of a liquidated trash can full of rotten flesh.

Like the goo we found in that tunnel, Caleb thought.

Suddenly, the slime shot out like an octopus’s arm and enveloped Gairake’s hand.
Oddly enough, Caleb could feel it all, like the slime was an extension of his body.
He felt the slime close around the dagger, and he dragged it out of Emperor Gairake’s grip.

There was silence for a moment, as everyone stared at Caleb’s hand.
“What’s going on?” Said a muffled voice.

“No.” Hissed Gairake after what seemed like an eternity.
“NO. It’s too early. He shouldn’t have that much control over it yet. This has never happened to any of the other clones.”

He turned to the guard.

“Kill the Xingfeng.”

The guard drew his gun…

CHAPTER XX

The goo shot out of Caleb’s arm once again and smashed into the guard like he had just been hit by a car.
This is really stinky, but it’s kind of cool. Thought Caleb as he grabbed Zanboloch.

“What the heck are you?” He spluttered as he pulled out his gag.

“I have no idea!” Caleb said brightly before drawing back a slimy fist and barrelling straight into Emperor Gairake.
Emperor Gairake pointed a finger skywards and drew a circle in the air. Caleb’s gooey hand disappeared into Gairake’s finger.
He chuckled. A frigid, condescending chuckle.

“Oh, Caleb. I suppose you think you’re something special. No doubt you found my creation in the Blackrooms.” He said, gesturing to the room where they had encountered the monster, “and that ‘slime bug’ that Private Whatshisname supposedly found. A creation just like the one in the Blackrooms, but it escaped. I was wondering where it ended up. I also know you allied with that human the moment you met him. And that smell that the slime bug, my Creation, and now, you. Isn’t it so…familiar?”

Caleb shivered. Gairake was exactly right. He had been pondering about it all day.

Gairake chuckled again.

“You wouldn’t remember. When you were just a tiny embryo, surrounded by the exact same slime, in a bubbling tank. I remember looking through the glass at you, wondering if this one would be any different.”

Caleb’s mind was in overdrive, and it was obvious by the look on his face.

“That’s right, Caleb. You’re a clone. That ‘slime bug’ you and Private butt cactus found, the one you just encountered, they’re your siblings. You’re a monster.”

Caleb fell to his knees. “No! You’re lying. It can’t. You can’t! No…” He groaned.

Gairake looked at him as if he was an insignificant speck of dirt on his shoes.

“As for you, Xingfeng…” He growled, turning to Zanboloch.

But then he stopped.
He looked around wildly.

“Where did he GO?!” He howled.

Slime erupted through the chinks in his golden armour, coating one of his arms, and then a massive gob of it leapt out onto Caleb’s hands and legs, sticking them together.

The goo began erupting out of his back, his arms, and even his helmet, covering his entire body.
He became almost a metre taller, and then ripped off his helmet to reveal a horribly deformed and warped skull that glowed a vivid green colour.
He opened his jaws, revealing teeth like a tyrannosaurus rex’s, let out a terrible, bloodcurdling screech and bolted away, following Zanboloch’s scent. CHAPTER XXI

Zanboloch punched in a frequency code and waited, praying that somebody cared enough to answer him.

There was a burst of static, and then somebody spluttered his name.
“Zanboloch? What in the galaxy?”

Zanboloch almost literally jumped for joy.
“Poioy! I’m so glad you responded. Listen, Emperor Gairake is actually Emperor Carne. They’re the same. It’s a plot. He’s with the humans. He’s going to annihilate our home planet. And he’s after me and my friend. We’re on his flagship.”

Poioy’s incredulous, almost screaming tone was all too familiar.
“What?! Listen, Zanboloch, ever since you just—“
Suddenly, her voice cut out. Zanboloch could hear muttering on the other end of the line.
“Private? Is that you?” Asked Slick in a concerned tone.
“Slick! Ye—“

“WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING?! We only just spotted you after you buggered off into that rat Lola’s fancy spaceship. Where the heck were you going? How did you get on the Emperor’s ship? What—“
“There’s no time to explain fully.” Groaned Zanboloch, constantly checking behind himself.
“Just bring everyone you have to the Emperor’s Flagship. I’ve just uncovered a massive conspiracy. Gairake is a traitor. Come quick! I…I think I have a plan…”
Zanboloch hurriedly whispered something to Slick, but suddenly, a horrible screech, like two pieces of metal being ground against eachother.
Zanboloch spun around to see the sickening monster that the Emperor had morphed into.
It charged towards him, galloping on all fours like a horse.
Zanboloch almost soiled himself as he screamed and began running blindly away as fast as he could.
Unfortunately, he didn’t have much hope of getting away. Gairake was far faster than he was, and all he had to do was sling out a hand of slime, engulf the Xingfeng, and carry him back.

“Alright, Caleb, TIME’S UP!!” Roared Gairake as he reentered the room.
“I have your little Xingfeng!”

Caleb nearly sobbed. He was a copy of Gairake himself, and now he and his only friend were about to die.

“I think i’m gonna KILL one of you FIRST, just for the heck of it!”
Gairake’s hand turned to a long, sharp blade.
With each word he spoke, he shoved the blade right between their eyes.
“Eenie, meenie, miney, YOU!!!” He bellowed in an ever so slightly shrill, shaking voice, pointing at Caleb.

He drew the blade high above his head…

CHAPTER XXII

BOOOM!!!

Suddenly, an explosion rattled the room, flinging its occupants against a wall.

Gairake swore profusely.
“Graaagh! Now what?!”

“You better have gotten this right, Private.” Growled the gruff voice of Captain Slick over the intercom.
“Otherwise, you’re in for a thrashing!!”
Slick had convinced and brought everyone he could to join the battle and save Zanboloch!
A starfighter soared past and dropped explosives on the ship, causing the room to tremble again.

Gairake hissed like a rattlesnake and darted over to a button.
“Attention all personnel! A group of insurgents have banded together and are attacking our ship. Destroy them ALL!”

He turned back to Caleb and Zanboloch.
“I don’t know what you hoped to achieve with this. It’s pointless. Yo—“

Caleb finally broke free of Emperor Gairake’s slime hand/legcuffs, and crash tackled him.

Gairake easily swatted him off as if he was a caterpillar.
“Oh, Caleb. You should know this by now; any power you seem to hold is mine.”

“No it isn’t!” Yelled Caleb, fighting back tears.
“I have a free will! I am not a copy! I am not a clone of you! I am somebody who can change their FATE!” His last few words grew distorted as his tears turned to slime, which gushed over his body, transforming him into a monster, just like Gairake.

He bodyslammed his former master into the wall.

“No! NO! It’s too soon! He shouldn’t show signs of this for MONTHS!!” Screeched Gairake.

“Run, Zanboloch! I’ll hold him off! Go!” Yelled Caleb, shoving something into Zanboloch’s hands. But he didn’t even notice.

“No! I’m not leaving you! There’s some way! There always is! I’ll—“

“GO!!” He roared as he shot a slimy limb out and knocked Zanboloch out of the room.
“Caleb!” Cried Zanboloch as Caleb lunged towards the door controls and smashed them shut.

CHAPTER XXIII

Zanboloch found himself, once again, shrouded in darkness.
“Oh no.” He breathed.

If he had hair on the back of his neck, it would be standing up straighter than a soldier campaigning for a promotion.
He heard the shhhhlikk of talons scraping on the polished floor, and the low, guttural chattering of Gairake’s “Creation”.
Fumbling, Zanboloch grabbed the flashlight off his belt, spun around and shined it directly into the Creation’s eyes.
The Creation let out a bloodcurdling screech, and then went into a blinded, berserk frenzy.
It charged around the place, howling its guts out and wildly slashing at the air.
Zanboloch didn’t bother trying to shine his flashlight on it again. It was never in the same position for more than a second. Instead, he bolted towards the exit, at the far end of the room.
He desperately smashed all the buttons he could find as the Creation barrelled towards him, roaring and howling, until finally Zanboloch punched the right button and the reenforced doors slammed shut.

Zanboloch let out an enormous amount of air. He was safe. For now.

Suddenly, his ears pricked up at the sound of laser fire and the thundering of boots on the floor above him.
Laser fire could only mean one thing. Slick and the squad was here!
Zanboloch literally jumped for joy, and then immediately regretted it because the sudden movement sent a jolt of pain up his spine.
“HEY! DOWN HERE! SLICK! POIOY!!” He called up.

Meanwhile, about 100 meters away, Poioy heard something.
“Did you hear something?” She asked Slick.
Slick grunted negatively and shot someone at the end of the hallway.
“Let’s keep moving, then.” Said Poioy as she ran straight past the entrance to the secret lab.

Down in the secret lab, Zanboloch punched a wall.

“Oh, Zanboloch…” Growled the wall in a sing-song voice.
Zanboloch jumped out of his skin. Was that…?

Suddenly, the reenforced door slid open, and Emperor Gairake stepped into the room and punched the button that Zanboloch used to close the door.
He seemed back to normal. He was huffing and puffing like a steam train. When Creation roared from behind the door, Gairake flinched, and then chuckled. His mask, cape and armour looked a little worse for wear, but he looked much better than Caleb, who was being dragged around by his foot.
He wasn’t moving. There was no trace of the slime on him, but he had massive black bags under his tightly closed eyes and for a heart-stopping moment Zanboloch thought he was dead.

“Not dead.” Said Gairake as if reading Zanboloch’s mind.
“Just drained of power. Paralysed and unconscious.” He dumped Caleb on the floor in front of Zanboloch as if he were a rather stinky bag of trash.
“You monster!” Yelled Zanboloch, grabbing his gun, only to have it snatched out of his hand.

“Oh, i’m the monster, am I?” Gairake said, casually twirling Zanboloch’s gun around his finger, as if he had just been told that there would be a rather lot of rain this weekend.
“Well, I suppose that is true now. But what about you? You accuse me of being a monster because, at its simplest, what I have done to your friend here.” He kicked Caleb in the ribs.
“But you have also done this. On the battlefield not so long ago, you would have killed hundreds of people. So technically, shouldn’t I be the one calling you a monster?”

There was silence as Zanboloch stared at Gairake with an expression of disgust, confusion, and annoyance.
“You talk too much.” He muttered.

Suddenly, the secret entrance to the lab was bashed open, and the yells of Captain Slick’s squad filled the room.

“Down here!” Called Zanboloch.

About 10 guns were fixed onto Gairake.

“It’s over, whoever you are! We have the high ground!” Roared Slick.
“Surrender! You are have be captured!” Squawked Fred.
“Shut up, Fred! Now, put your hands behind your head. We want to know what the heck is going on…” His voice trailed off as Emperor Gairake glared up at him.
Fred made a squeal of surprise that was a cross between a chicken and donkey.
Poioy gasped and opened and closed her mouth like a pufferfish choking on a carrot.
Slick just stuttered. “Wh…a…ah…” He mumbled.

“Captain Slick. This Private here, and I believe he is of your squad, attempted to assassinate me, along with this human.” Said Gairake, his voice calm and clipped.

Captain Slick and Poioy desperately looked back and forth at Zanboloch’s pleading eyes, and then Gairake’s empty, soulless lenses.
“Don’t listen to him! He’s a murderer! He killed my friend, he provoked this war, he played both sides from the beginning!” Cried Zanboloch desperately.
“Captain, remember your loyalty. Your life. Do you really want to give it all up for this lying traitor?”

Captain Slick growled something under his breath and shot Gairake straight in the face.
Before the laser bolt could reach his mask, Gairake shot up a tendril of goo that engulfed the laser with a sizzle.
“What the huh?” Screamed Fred.
“Give up your life it is.” Hissed Gairake as he ripped off his mask and transformed back into a monster.
He leapt up from the giant hole in the floor and knocked Slick’s squad over like bowling pins, roaring and bellowing until everyone’s ears hurt.
By now, everyone was shooting at Gairake, desperately trying to run away, or lying in some random spot on the floor.

Amidst the chaos, somebody’s gun fell down and clocked Zanboloch right on the head, knocking him unconscious.

CHAPTER XXIV

When Zanboloch awoke, he was lying flat on the ground with his arms and legs bound and his head was throbbing.
He groaned and opened his eyes. Polished boots were what he saw.
“Wake up!” Shouted the polished boots as they kicked his head.
Zanboloch tried to scramble to his feet, but immediately fell over again.
Around him were Poioy, Caleb, Fred (who was sobbing his eyes out) and the rest of the squad, all restrained and bound up.

“Where’s Slick?” Zanboloch asked Poioy.
Poioy kept her gaze on the ground and sniffed. Zanboloch’s eyes filled with tears. It was all he needed to know.

It seemed that they were back in the Emperor’s Throne Room.
Gairake walked over to Caleb.
A glob of slime rolled off his finger and onto Caleb’s forehead. The slime was absorbed into Caleb’s skin and he began coughing and spluttering.
“Caleb! You’re alive?” Gasped Zanboloch.

“I’m actually not sure.” Caleb groaned. And then he opened his eyes and spat at Gairake. He missed.

“Welcome, everyone. Your deaths will come in a minute. First, I want you to comment on my pride and joy. My life’s work. What everything has come together to create.”

He gestured grandly out a massive window to the front three prongs of the ship that Zanboloch had seen earlier from Lola’s shuttle.
Zanboloch could also see the beautiful planet of Xingfeng. With fungi and giant mushrooms and spongy growths the dominant vegetation instead of trees, and the vast, deep oceans, the planet was a wonderful mix of blues, yellows and greens.

Gairake walked over to a desk with an array of buttons. He pressed one and said into it, “Ready the focusing spires.”

Glowing points of orange light blossomed on the tips of the three prongs, wobbling slightly and growing bigger and brighter.

“Sit back and relax, traitors, and witness the destruction of your home planet and the death of everyone you ever cared about.” Said Gairake in the most clipped, condescending voice imaginable.

“What?! How? We can’t die! We’re the Xingfeng! We will never not be a defeated!” Squawked Fred.

Gairake sighed.
“My super weapon works in the same way an “orange rinse” I believe you soldiers call it. I am creating such a powerful signal, all the molten rock from the mantle will well up and smother the surface of Xingfeng in magma. Then, just in case something somehow survived, the entire structure of your disgusting little planet will collapse in on itself. Does that answer your question, ah, Private Fred?”

Fred’s reaction was the same as everyone else’s: slack-jawed horror.

“Keep your eyes on the planet. The magma rising up and killing everyone will be quite a spectacle.” Chirped Gairake happily, as if informing a friend about how this dolphin was about to do an amazing trick.

He strolled back over to the intercom button.
“READY.” He yelled.
“AIM.”
“FI—“
Suddenly, the lights fizzled out with a downwards hum.

Gairake tried to keep yelling into his intercom button, but nothing happened.
He kicked something in the darkness and swore.
“The power’s out! I can’t believe something as…stupid…it…I…”
His voice trailed off as he heard screaming in the distance.
Very familiar screaming.
“Captain Slick?!” Cried Zanboloch in the darkness.
A beam of light cut into the room. Indeed, it was Captain Slick, returned from the dead.
“Captain! I can’t believ—“

“RUUUUUN!!” He yelled at the top of his lungs.
He charged over to everyone and began struggling with their arm and leg restraints.
Unfortunately, they were made of Gairake’s solidified slime.
“What the heck is this?” Muttered Slick, fumbling.
Gairake pounced on Slick like a cat on a mouse.

He snarled right in Slick’s face, “This was a pathetic, desperate plan, and I-“

A shuddering growl rattled from the hallway.

Talons scraped on the floor.

Gairake dropped Slick.

“No.” He said flatly.

The Creation stalked into the room and looked Gairake square in the eye. The man that had taunted him through reenforced glass, the one who always looked so tasty, was standing before him, with no barrier between them.

There was a moment of absolute stillness. Nobody dared move.

“You cut the power, which killed the lights. And then let out Creation. And then led it here.” Said Gairake, finally understanding, his voice quivering.

Creation howled at the ceiling and made a beeline for Gairake.

The slime cuffs that restrained Zanboloch and the squad melted and dropped to the floor, and everybody ran for the exit.

Caleb kicked the elegant double doors shut as Emperor Gairake’s horrified screams and Creation’s bloodcurdling growls rang out through the ship.

CHAPTER XXV

The gang kept running until the Creation’s growls grew silent.

There was silence for a moment, as nobody knew what to say.

Suddenly, the earsplitting noise of a siren ripped through the ship, rattling everyone’s skulls, and an automated voice screamed to abandon ship.
“What’s happening?” Yelled Poioy over the din.
Caleb ran over to a window. There was a great view of the planet Xingfeng. Caleb had seen pictures and holograms of it, but the real thing seemed…so much more beautiful.
Except for the fact that it was getting larger and larger, and closer and closer.
“Oh, no. I think Slick’s—“
“THAT’S CAPTAIN SLICK!!”
Caleb sighed. “I think Captain Slick’s brilliant plan to cut the power means that the entire ship is hurtling down to Earth. I mean, Xingfeng.”

There was shocked silence. Except for the siren.

“Oh dear.” Blurted Fred.
“‘OH DEAR’ HARDLY COVERS IT!! RUN FOR THE SPACE SHUTTLE WE CAME IN! GOGOGOGO!” Bellowed Slick, shoving everyone forward, which just made them trip over.

The ship rumbled and creaked as mini explosions and shockwaves rippled through the hull. In the noise and darkness, Zanboloch became disoriented and tripped over himself. He felt the pounding footsteps of his friends bolt past him.
“Wait!” He called, but it was no use. Over the deafening sirens, no one could hear him.

And he could hear no one.

Or rather, nothing.

CHAPTER XXVI

The Creation snarled in contentedness as it polished off the last pieces of Emperor Gairake. He had finally eaten that tasty-looking morsel that had teased him from the other side of the bulletproof glass.
But now what was it to do? The only two goals that it had ever really come up with had been achieved, and there was an awful racket ringing through the place. It didn’t really bother Creation anyway. It mostly relied on sight, smell and infrared detectors as its primary senses.
Chewing on one of the Emperor’s bones, it decided that it would find and possibly eat the source of whatever was making that noise.

It stalked through the hallways, following the scent of a thing made of meat.

It filled its nostrils with the scent, and then came across another blue creature. Creation huffed. It had already eaten a blue thing today, but this would have to do.

Creation leapt through the air like a tiger and slammed into Zanboloch, knocking him to the ground. He desperately held the monster back, squeezing his eyes shut.
He kicked Creation in the belly, which screeched and grabbed his leg and tried to drag him away.
Zanboloch gritted his teeth against the searing pain. He fumbled with his tool belt, desperately hoping he hadn’t dropped the thing he was looking for…
A wave of relief crashed over him as his hand closed around the flashlight. He took a deep breath, looked Creation right in the face, and switched the light on.

Nothing happened.

He cried out in dismay and attacked with the only weapon he had. The cold, useless tube of metal he had in his hand.
Which did nothing, except accidentally reconnecting some of the internal wires to the power source of the torch.
A beam of light flickered into existence, streaming straight into the monster’s face.
Creation screeched, its harsh keening scream sounding like fingernails going down a blackboard, and then scuttled away.
It kept out of rage of the torch’s beam, hissing malevolently.

If I just keep the torch on Creation, i’ll be fine. Thought Zanboloch, shaking with fear as he slowly backed away.
Creation lunged and hissed constantly, swiping at the hated light as if it were a solid enemy. The explosions and the rattles that shot through the ship were getting bigger and more frequent. Zanboloch glanced out the window at the fast-approaching planet and knew he would never make it out, backwards-pedalling towards who-knows where.
He came to a spot he remembered passing earlier when Lola was leading him to the Emperor’s Throne room. At least, he thought he remembered it. Almost every corridor he had been in looked exactly the same.

His torch began flickering.
Ah, well. I don’t have much of a choice, do I? It’s the only place that I think might lead to an escape. Thought Zanboloch.

His torch fizzled out.

It was time to RUN.

CHAPTER XXVII

Zanboloch tore down the corridor, his lungs gasping for air and his legs burning like they were on fire.
Creation was right behind him.
He burst into a massive room that was filled with space shuttles, starfighters and mechs.
And to his left was one of the most welcome sights he had seen all day.

His friends were standing at the foot of a ready-to-go space shuttle. As soon as they saw him, they began screaming in delight.
As soon as they saw the thing that was chasing him, they screamed in fear and scampered back up the ramp and into the shuttle.

The ramp began closing.

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME, SLICK?!” Wailed Zanboloch.

Zanboloch drew up the last ounces of energy left in him, and charged towards his rapidly-closing window of salvation.
Creation was gaining on him, fast.

Six metres.
Four metres.
One.

Like a baseball player sliding into home base, Zanboloch flew neatly under the closing door and into the ship.
Less than half a second later, Creation slammed into the metal wall, howling and furiously scrabbling at it, desperate to reclaim its lost meal.

“HE’S IN! GO!!” Yelled Poioy.

Slick revved the engine and shoved the throttle lever forward.
The engine spluttered a few times, spat out some smoke, and the ship moved about thirty centimetres.

There was absolute silence except for the Emperor’s Flagship groaning and falling closer and closer to the surface of the planet Xingfeng.
“Oh dear.” Blurted Fred.
“Oh dear indeed.” Muttered Slick.

CHAPTER XXVIII

“Did you just agree with me?” Said Fred to Slick in amazement.

“What do we do?! This is hopeless! The only way we can get out of this is by scoring pure dumb luck…”.

Suddenly, Poioy’s eyes widened and she struck a heroic pose.
“My time has come.” She whispered, and then spun around to the controls and bellowed;
“BUTTON MASH!!!!”

She poked, twisted, tapped and smacked every knob, button and lever in sight.

The engine sputtered a few more times, spat out some more smoke, and roared into life.
The ship was propelled up and away, spiralling into the air, throwing its inhabitants around like wet clothes in a washing machine.

And not a moment too soon.

The Flagship entered Xingfeng’s atmosphere, and turned into a massive, burning hunk of metal that looked like it could outshine a star.

“WE DID IT!” Yelled everyone all at once, celebrating their highly unlikely victory.
Zanboloch shook Fred’s hand, them both knowing that they had probably moved up a spot in the “Worst People In The Squad” rankings (hopefully).
Poioy tried to hug Slick, but he blatantly refused, so she decided to hug Zanboloch instead.
“Poioy, you’re choking me. You’re choking me!” Gasped Zanboloch.

“That is why I don’t want a hug.” Grumbled Slick to himself.

The Flagship slammed into the Xingfengese ground, creating an enormous explosion that blasted flames up and outwards, blossoming into the landscape and potentially killing thousands of people in the process.

Nevertheless, it still drove a truckload of cheering from the little space shuttle.

Zanboloch looked at the huge fiery crater on the planet below.
“Yeah, that’ll take a bit of cleaning up.” He said.

“To the Xingfeng, you’ll be traitors. To the humans, i’ll be a traitor.” Groaned Caleb.
“And since that laptop was destroyed in the crash, we’ll never convince everyone. And i’ll never know what I am, exactly. The battle is far from over.”

Zanboloch rummaged in his suit.
“You mean this laptop?” He smiled, handing a rolled-up poster-looking thing to Caleb.

Caleb unrolled it and out popped Emperor Carne’s head and shoulders.

Fred screamed and scampered away from it.

“Whatever you need to discover, we’ll do it together.” Smiled Zanboloch.

“Yeah, I bet we will. You’re just as curious as I am.” Snorted Caleb.

The End.
🚀 🚀 🚀

(∩🌔 ͜ʖ🌔)⊃━☆ﾟ.°·*