The Hand Witch

|———————————> I <—————————————|

“Let me guess…” Droned James.
“Your secret ingredient is…I dunno…vanilla?”
His twin sister Katie screamed. Or laughed. It was hard to tell which.
“WRONG! It’s sugar!!”
James rolled his eyes. “I should have known.”
“Of COURSE you should have known! Sugar! It’s always sugar!”
James rolled his eyes as he finished the muffin. His sister loved sugar so much it was annoying for everyone else.
“So what did you make for Baking Block, bro?”

James opened his mouth to say something, but then shut it again.
And then opened it.
And shut it.
When he eventually opened his mouth again, Katie shoved the rest of his muffin into it.
“I can’t believe you forgot to bake something again! What do you find so interesting about drawing pictures of monsters in your little diary?!”

James was a bit of a geek when it came to things like aliens and ghosts and the supernatural.
He loved the thrill and mystery of it all.
He was also quite a good drawer and writer, so he combined the two in a journal were he wrote and drew about mythical beasts and weird objects and suspicious people.

James was quite grateful that Katie hadn’t taken an interest in his book yet, because he didn’t think she would take too kindly to who he marked as a “suspicious person”.

“I just like it! It’s a fun, recreational thing for me to do! All you do in your spare time is to discover new things that you can mix with sugar, shove it in an oven and call a bakery item!”

“Shut up.”
“You shut up.”
“YOU shut up!”

Eventually, the twins reached a little house on the edge of the street, sort of looking like it was shoved off to the end of the street by the other houses, which were like elegant skyscrapers compared to the little flat.

The twins were about to knock on the door when James stopped and stared at something in the distance.
“Uhh…James?” Said Kate, waving a hand in front of his face.
“Kate…” He murmured.

|———————————> I <—————————————|

“Look…”
He pointed at a haunched, hooded figure enveloped in a black coat shuffling along the sidewalk, carrying a bulging rucksack over its shoulder.
He yanked his camera out of his pocket and tried to take a picture to stick in his journal, but his hands were tingling so much he could hardly hold the camera, let alone press any buttons.
He growled in frustration as he dropped the camera.
“Can you feel that, James? It feels like my hands just fell asleep!” Said Kate worriedly.
James looked back up to where the figure was, but it had disappeared.

He immediately whipped out his journal and began writing in it (Or trying to write in it- his hands were still numb) like a madman, with a gleam in his eye that made him look insane.
Suddenly, the door burst open to with a BANG.

James threw his hands over his head, flinging the journal up into the air, and Kate simply fell backwards into a hedge.

“Oh dear, i’m so sorry, children. Did I startle you?” Said old lady in her mid sixties. She had curly, silver hair, wore glasses on chain and was covered in flower-themed clothing.

“Jennifer!” Cried Kate eagerly, wriggling free from the hedge.

“Jennifer!” Panted James.
“I’m so glad you’re here! I saw this weird person in a cloak with a big bag filled with something and I tried to take a picture but I couldn’t-”

“Alright, alright!” Chuckled the old lady, patting them both on the back.
“You can tell me all about the thing you saw after class.”

She ushered them both into the cottage.
Inside was a normal-sized living room, neatly decorated with a pinkish-yellow theme with the occasional stain on the floral wallpaper where somebody had spilled cake mix.
Overlooking the room was an enormous white board with recipes scribbled all over it in various different colours.

Kate plonked herself down next to a bespectacled girl called Zoe, who had an weird habit of always referring to herself in third person, and immediately began chatting about boys and tingling hands.

James sat next to his sister and began writing theories of what he just saw in his journal.

“Welcome back, everybody, to another day of Baking Block!” Declared Jennifer as she scribbled something on the white board.
“Today, we will be making-”
A fat kid at the back of the class put his hand up.
“Yes?” Jennifer said flatly.
“I made muffins yesterday.” He said.

Jennifer gave him a searching look, and then moved on.
“That kid at the back is a bit dim.” Whispered Kate.
“Zoe agrees. Annoying, too. Remember when we invited him to play monopoly and he wouldn’t shut up about how he was the top hat?”

“Do you mind?” Grumbled James.
“I’m trying to write about ghosts!”

“Today, class, we shall be baking…” Jennifer paused for dramatic effect.
“MUFFINS!!”
“YAYYY!” Cheered the whole class.
“We’ve been making muffins for the past week now.” Muttered James, startled by the sudden uproar.
“Shut up.” Kate muttered back.
“You shut up.”
“Zoe is trying to listen! Both of you shut up!”

“Now, as you all know,” Continued Jennifer,
“The national baking competition is coming up, and we cannot afford for those amateurs at Kirkle Cakey Club to win against us AGAIN.”
As the boos and jeers rang out in response to the club’s arch-nemesis’s name being spoken, Jennifer’s “sweet old lady” demeanour began to fall away.

“WE WILL BASH THEM INTO BAKING HEAVEN!!” She screamed, punching the ceiling.
“I want you to keep practicing with your wondrous muffins. They must be perfect in every way when the judging comes round.
“Do you understand?”

There was silence.

A fat kid at the back put up his hand.
“I can make muffins.” He said.

“Yes!” Said Jennifer, a hint of exasperation in her voice.
“And they need to be perfect by next week.”

More silence.

The fat kid put up his hand again.
“I put them in the oven.”

Jennifer sighed and pointed at the whiteboard.
“Everyone come up here and get the following ingredients: 2 eggs, a bag of flour, there we go, don’t rush all at once…”

James sat still at his desk, staring at his hands. They had stopped tingling the moment he looked back and saw the dark figure had gone.
What was it? A ghost? A monster? A cryptid?

“Oh, don’t tell me you’re still obsessing over that weirdo in the cape we saw, bro-bro.” Kate said, snapping him out of his daydream.
“It was probably just some guy in a jacket because he was cold, carrying a bunch of stuff in a bin bag because…well…maybe he was homeless?”

James gave her a look.

“Look, James. Whatever we saw, there’s an explanation for it. We just need to focus on baking block, and win the competition, and THEN you can obsess over your obsessive obsessions.”
James was sweating with excitement.
“But this is a real supernatural sighting! A REAL one! I-i-i could get the police involved in this! I could become a celebrity-”

“Zoe wants you to shut up.” Said Zoe.
“You shut up.” Said James.
“You shut up!” Said Zoe.
“You shut up!” Said Kate to no one in particular.

About an hour later, a stream of children holding trays of muffins flooded out of the small cottage, bringing with them a rather odd smell that carried a message that said, “Welp, you tried.”.

James stared across the street at where the weird figure was, trying to ignore the burnt smell of charred muffins wafting up his nose.
There was nothing there. No evidence that anything had ever been there.
He looked up at the sky, but as he did, he caught a flash of something in his peripherals.
His heart skipped a beat.
There!

The figure was sitting on the side of a roof, a hood over its face, and its bare taloned feet gripped on its perch like a bird of prey.
James hardly got a glimpse of the thing before it realised it was being watched, it hissed, spread its cloak like wings, and flew down an alleyway.

James shot a quick glance at Kate.
“One muffin, two muffins, fwee mffins, frr mffns, ” Chanted Kate and Zoe as they shoved muffin after muffin into their mouths.
“I can eat muffins too.” Said the fat kid.

He ran after the creature.

|———————————> III <—————————————|

James raced through the town, being careful not to lose sight of the creature and feeling like a real ghost hunter.
He hadn’t been running for more than 10 seconds before he failed to notice the pile of bricks in his path and tripped over them.
The landed on the ground with a sickening THUD.
He groaned and clutched his ribs.
Something grunted.
“Kate?” He asked as his ribs began to stop hurting.

“Huhuhuhmfgrblebrf!” Replied Kate.
“Swallow that.” James said, poking the mountain of muffins she had crammed into her mouth.

Kate chewed and swallowed.
It was the human equivalent of a garbage truck using its trash compactor to flatten 10 or so bin-fulls of rubbish.
Spittle flew everywhere.

“Where have you been, James? I’ve been standing here with muffins in my mouth waiting for you for over 1 minute! I can’t be expected to wait for someone for this long!”

“Kate, I-i-i-i saw it! I saw it again! T-t-t-t-the thing! It can fly! I chased it, but it threw a pile of bricks at me, a-and I think it, like, d-“

“James.” Kate said in a serious tone, which surprised James. His sister was almost never this serious.
“What did I tell you about you supernatural stuff? Honestly, James. Enough is enough.”

James sighed and looked at the sky. There was no sign of the dark shape.
“Look, what you saw, I saw it too. I even got a picture of it with that camera of yours that you forgot in Baking Block.”
She turned the camera on and shoved it in James’s face.
It was a picture of an owl.
A really big, really black owl.
“See? It was nothing. You were chasing an innocent owl.”
James deflated like a depressed balloon.
“I guess you’re right.” He groaned.
And as he said that, he could help but wonder how in the world he had mistaken an owl with a monster.

The days sped by like a time-lapse recording until it was time for Baking Block again.

The twins stepped up onto the porch and rang the doorbell.
As they waited for an answer, James stared across the street with narrowed eyes.
The spot where the figure had been was taunting him.
“Ha ha.” It said.
“Next headline: Loser boy fails to solve the mystery. You suck, James.”
James growled, earning a look funny from his sister.

The door opened slowly with a drawn out, earsplitting creak.

“Zoe?” Said Kate.
“Hi, guys. Zoe is not sure what is going on. Jennifer never showed up.”
She said as the twins entered the house and sat down.
“So, its like she just disappeared?” Said James.
Zoe adjusted her glasses. It was something she did when she was nervous.
“Zoe guesses so.”

“Well, we’ve got an hour to do whatever we want!” Announced James.
“I vote we go hunting for creatures with paranormal or-“

“Wait.” Said Kate, putting her hands up to silence them.
There was the faint sound of rap music coming from outside.
Everyone jumped up and began fighting for the best windows to look out of.
A beat-up, rusty old pickup truck with graffiti slathered all over the back dragged itself along the road.
It had a wonky tire, which made it bounce up and down seemingly in time with the rap music blaring on the radio.
It did an impressive drift and knocked over a sign that said, “NO PARKING”.

They stared at it in silence for a while.
It did not move.

Suddenly, the door exploded open, and a gust of chilled wind swept through the room.
James almost fainted.
It was the figure.
Haunched over its walking stick, it surveyed the class.
“Goodbye, life. I had a good run…” Whimpered James.
It pulled up its hood, revealing the wrinkled head of a very old woman.

“Hiya, class!” Said the head.

|———————————> IV <—————————————|

There was complete silence.

“Hiya, class!” The old hag said again.
The voice of some prat lost in the sea of kids piped up.
“Your head looks like a sultana!”

A wave of sniggering crashed over the room.
The old lady scowled and began waving her stick above her head like the rotors of a helicopter.

“Any more shenanigans and i’ll whoop all your bums with my stick! Sit down, you impish knaves!”

She shuffled over to the whiteboard and began scratching and muttering to herself.
The fat kid put his hand up.
“I have a stick too.” He said.

“Oh, that reminds me. A bag of candy for everyone.” She grunted.
The class surged forward with whoops of joy and began squabbling over the candy like feisty monkeys over their bananas.

“What’s an impish knave?” Whispered Kate to James with a mouthful of jelly snakes when the class had settled back down.
“I have no idea. Anyway, I find it suspicious that the old fart looks exactly like the thing we saw.”
Kate scratched her head. “What? She looks nothing like an owl-“

Suddenly, the old woman’s head snapped at Kate.
“SHHhHHHHhHHhhhHH!!” She hissed, spittle flying everywhere, giving the kids in front row a smattering of freckles.

“So, um, as you all probably don’t know, my sis…I mean, Jennifer, your usual host, had to go away on a…um…” .
She looked at the back of her hand.
“The coal in the cave can be cooked in a cauldron? What?!” She muttered, frowning.
The whole class was deadly silent, except for James, who was desperately fumbling with his camera in hopes of catching more odd moments on recording, and the occasional kid who was still mashing their jaws on candy as she checked her other hand.
“Ah…right. She’s away on an urgent business trip very far away from here. She should be back by the competition. Which reminds me, she also left me a list of stuff you needed to do…where is it?” She muttered.

A piece of yellowed paper that was slightly ripped on the edges slipped out of her sleeve.
“Ah. Here it is. Task one: Finish perfecting your muffins and win the baking competition. Task two: Get the stains off the walls. Task three: oh, hang on. There isn’t one.”

And with that, she plonked herself down onto a sofa and began reading a magazine that seemed like it was being held together with sticky tape.
James could swear that some of the pictures were moving.

“I’m going to go up there and question her. She seems suspicious. She might be that monster we saw, or even a ghost!” He whispered to Kate, bubbling with excitement.

He stood up, untangled himself from the table and awkwardly walked across the room.
He went right up to the old hag and opened his mouth to say something.
All that came out was a pitiful, almost silent squeak.
The old woman looked up from her magazine, saw what he was doing, and copied him.

He was struck back by her horrible breath.

Coughing like a cow with asthma, he stumbled back to his seat.
Kate chortled at him and told him he looked like a stale avocado.
“Her breath…it was…terrible…” He wheezed.

“Oh, come on.” She snorted as she strode confidently towards the old woman.
“Nice magazine.” She said.
The old hag jumped and threw her magazine out the window.
“TIME TO- - Oh, it’s you. What do you want?” She grunted as a gust of wind suddenly blew the magazine back into the room.
Noticing but ignoring this, Kate kept her cool.
“I’m sorry, miss…?”
The old hag stared at her for a moment, her eyes blinking independently of eachother.
“My name is Ursahara.”
Kate paused.
“Well…Ursahara…Jennifer usually helps us make our muffins.” She said slowly.
“Next up on Human Child States the Obvious…” She muttered.
“What?!”
“Nothing! Fine, sure, i’ll help you.”
She and Kate shuffled over to her desk.

“I’ve been working on a really good muffin mixture, and I was just wondering if I could have some feedback on it.”

“Gimme the ingredients list.”

Kate passed a perfectly crisp piece of paper filled with writing and floral doodles.
Ursahara stared at it for a while.
Suddenly, she turned bright red and gripped the paper like it had just told the woman that her mama was fat.

“Twenty grams of sugar?! TWENTY GRAMS OF SUGAR?!?!” She screeched.
Kate recoiled.
“Is…is that too much?”
“TOO MUCH?! TOO MUCH!?!?!?” Screamed Ursahara.
She shoved her face right next to Kate’s and said one word.

“More.”

Kate scooped up a teaspoon of sugar and mixed it in with the rest of the ingredients.

“MORE!!!” Yelled Ursahara.

“But Jennifer never usually lets us put more than 20 grams of sugar in our pastries!” Said Kate.

“To the underworld with Jennifer! MOOOORE SUUUUUGAR!!”
“I like this woman.” Muttered Kate to James, who was trying to record the entire scene on his camera.

She dipped a crooked finger in and sampled some.
“Now that’s what I call SWEET!!” She roared.
Kate tried some.
He eyes widened and he pupils dilated.
“Woah.” She whispered, starting to jiggle around.
Giggling incessantly and scooping big handfuls out to eat more and more, she shovelled the mixture into some moulds and shoved them in the oven.
Ursahara shuffled back to her chair.
“I don’t think Ursahara is entirely…normal, do you?” Whispered James to Kate when she sat back down.
“Brklnerscant!” Cried Kate.
“Yesyesyes, I like her a loooooot!”
“Only because she keeps feeding you.”
“So?”
James sighed.
“Honestly, Katie, i’ve heard about these sort of things loads of times and i’ve come to suspect that this woman…”

He paused for dramatic effect.

“A whatwhatwhatwhatwhatwhatWHAAAAAAT?” Groaned Kate, who had also heard about these sorts of things enough times to be almost completely fed up with it.

“IS AN ALIEN!!!” He yelled, jumping up on his chair.
All throughout the classroom, heads turned away from their cupcakes and to him.
James went red and laughed nervously.
Suddenly, one of the legs of the chair he was standing on snapped, sending him tumbling down into an enormous bowl of muffin batter.
Huge peals of laughter erupted all over the classroom.
“Still think she’s an alien?” Quipped Kate.
“Shut up.” Grumbled James.
“You shut up.”

|———————————> V <—————————————|

Several minutes later, the whole room was covered in baking mix and sticky ingredients, and everyone’s voices were sore.
This was due to a humongous food fight which started when James retaliated to his sister’s teasings by shoving a glob of muffin mix in her face.
Naturally, she screamed and scooped up some of her own and lobbed it at James.
James ducked, and it hit Zoe instead.
This angered Zoe, who screamed and hurled a blob at Kate, who screamed and lunged out of the way, crashing into James (who screamed) causing the glob of batter to fly through the air into somebody else. (Who screamed)

And so on.

But what really turned the room to a gloopy, sticky hell was when Ursahara, who had finished reading her magazine, finally bothered to look up to see what the kids where doing.

She thought it looked like fun.
The old hag had a surprisingly strong and precise throwing arm, and an exceptionally fast reload.
And a very, very shrill, grating voice.

Soon, the walls, the desks, the floor and the people were covered in the sticky stuff.
James jumped up from behind an upturned desk and nailed Ursahara in the head.
As she furiously brushed it out of her hair, James could have sworn he head seen…
There!
The old woman seemed to have very long, thin ears.
“Katie, look! Ursahara has pointed ears!”
“What, like an elf?”
“Yes! I’m telling you, she isn’t what she seems.”
“‘What she seems’ is a point of view. If she isn’t what she seems according to you, she’s a completely innocent old woman who likes magazines and food fights.” Kate chirped as she lobbed another fistful of mix.

Eventually, the apple timer on the bench began ringing like a nuclear siren, signalling that the class was over.
Everyone was laughing and chatting with eachother, making mini, wheezing squeals, telling awesome fibs of how they never got hit once and managed to hit everyone else.
Kate and James, however, were the only ones who were not happy.
“Guys? I know that food fight was a lot of fun, but we really need to practice our baking skills for the competition! Not to mention scrubbing all the stains off the walls, plus the ones we just made!” Cried Kate, her sugar rush wearing off, the sense flooding back into her.
“I made the walls dirty!” Cheered the fat kid.
“Katie…come on. We’re good enough to tackle the other contestants. We never usually get to goof off like that! And the walls…it’ll be easy! We just team up and clean it all on the last day! Or even use some of the money we won from the baking competition to hire somebody to clean it for us! Or even, just clean up the old stains, because those were the only ones that Jennifer actually said we had to clean up!” Said Zoe.

“I’m irresponsible!” Cheered the fat kid.

James leapt in, waving his journal around like it was on fire and clicking his pen like crazy.
“And don’t forget to consider the possibility that she is an elf! I’ve seen her pointy ears, and she sort of has that magic-y vibe to her, like a kind of-“

“James, Zoe is telling you this for your good and our’s- shut up.” Groaned Zoe.
“No seriously! I-i-i-i swear! I saw her pointed ears! There’s nothing on this planet that could possibly account for tha-“
Zoe typed something up on her phone and shoved it in James’s face.
“Stahl’s ear? What…?”

—————————————————————
Stahl's ear is caused by misshapen cartilage. It is characterised by an extra horizontal fold of cartilage (crus). Normally, there are two: superior and inferior. In Stahl's ear, there is a third horizontal crus. The helix (or upper portion of the ear) may uncurl, giving the ear a pointed shape.
—————————————————————

“Oh, come on!”
The group began to shake their heads and walk away.
Suddenly, James thought of something.
“Wait! W-wait! What about how weird she is? Like, she’s always saying weird stuff! She always acts, like, so suspicious!”
Zoe rubbed her temples.
“James, your idea of suspicious is vastly different from what actually IS suspicious. Besides, that can easily be explained by the fact that Ursahara is old, and she’s getting senile.”

“What?”

Zoe shoved her phone in his face once again.

—————————————————————————
adjective: senile
(of a person) having or showing the weaknesses or diseases of old age, especially a loss of mental faculties.
—————————————————————————

James stared at it.
“Life’s not fair.” He grumbled as the group dispersed, leaving James feeling like his head had just been sat on by a volcano.

“C’mon James. Seriously, think about it. What you’re betting on is kind of absurd. I mean, sure, if we were in some crazy fantasy story, your suspicions would be totally warranted. But this is real life. There’s nothing paranormal about that.”
James sighed.
“I guess you’re right.”

The sky rumbled as the clouds, heavy with water, began to dump their load.
“Uh oh.” Said Kate.
She pulled out her umbrella, making a big show of twirling it around and making sure James got an eyeful of the “unicorn in a tutu eating a cupcake” design on it, and ran off to join Zoe.

James splayed himself out on the ground as the rain fell around him.
Maybe his sister was right about his craziness.
Ursahara was probably just an old, senile lady with Stan’s ear or whatever the condition was called.

Suddenly, James heard a series of loud thumps coming from back inside the little cottage.
He jumped up, ran over to the other side of the house and peered through the window.

——————————————————————————————
verb
gerund or present participle: spying

1. Gathering information by secretly observing somebody from a distance without them knowing.
——————————————————————————————

|———————————> VI <—————————————|

Ursahara began pacing, or rather, shuffling around the room, dipping her finger in a lump of cake mix every now and again.
That stupid boy with the camera and the book was admittedly brighter than the others. Brighter in more ways than one…
And more importantly, how was she going to complete her project in time for her sister’s return? She knew it would be difficult to use the children in her plot.
She sighed and flicked her wrist, causing a rustic, ancient key to appear in her hand.

Meanwhile, on the other side of a window, James squeaked in shock. The woman had just conjured a gnarled old key into her gnarled old hand! Sure, she could have been holding it the whole time without him noticing.
Get ahold of yourself! Thought James.
You’re sounding like Zoe!

Ursahara looked at the key as if she had just asked it to bring her a pen and it came back with a hen.
She grumbled something incoherent, flicked her wrist once more and conjured another key.
James gasped a little too loud and began fumbling with his camera.
It was clear Ursahara was still unsatisfied with the keys she was conjuring, so she shuffled over to her handbag, which was about the size as your average shopping basket, and shoved her entire arm into it and began rummaging around.

Meanwhile, outside, James slowly aimed his camera and took a shot.
The entire room lit up with a flash like a firefly had just exploded.

James ducked down behind the wall and sucked his lips so hard that when he stopped they turned scarlet, making it look like he was wearing lipstick.

Ursahara quickly withdrew the entire top half of her body from the seemingly bottomless bag and looked around.
Her head was shoved in her bag so she didn’t know for sure, but she could have sworn there was a sudden flash of light.
She narrowed her eyes.
She also saw something disappear in the window in her peripheral vision.
She ran over and threw open the window with a bang.
Again, she saw something disappear around the corner.
A foot.
A child-sized foot.
“Come back here, you rotten little knave!” She yelled as she clambered out the window and fell into a bush.

Meanwhile, outside, Kate and Zoe were chatting about unicorns eating cupcakes and earrings and flowers and other stuff like that.
They were having a nice time until a group of other, much snobbier girls just happened to stroll by.

“Greetings, dorks.” Said the lead snob.
Kate whirled around. She was face to face with a girl with an outrageous amount of makeup on, and probably-fake blond hair that came down to her waist.
“Hello!” She said cheerfully, in complete contrast to the other girl.
“I see you’re, like, a member of Baking Block, if i’m not mistaken. Which I know i’m not.” She said smugly.
“Yeeeees, we are…” Katie said slowly.
“Well, let me tell you this. We. Will. Destroy. You.” Hissed the girl, punctuating every word with a rather unnecessarily strong poke to Kate’s chest.
Kate and Zoe gasped simultaneously.
“You’re a member of Kirkle Cupcake Club!” Said Zoe.
The snobby girl poked Zoe on the nose and giggled in such an infuriating manner that Zoe adjusted her glasses for about 10 seconds longer than she really needed to.

“Step away from my friend, you, you…bimbo!” Cried Kate, stepping protectively in front of Zoe.
The pack of girls behind the lead snobby girl gasped.
The leader’s face darkened.

There was ominous silence.

Suddenly, the girl screamed at the top of her lungs one word.
That word was “daddy”, and it lasted for about 5 seconds.

Without missing a beat, a man in a crisp navy blue suit barrelled round the corner in a sort of power walk that seemed to be an elegant version of running.
“Daddy.” Fake-sobbed the girl.
“Those girls called me…a…a…”
“Dang, she’s really putting this on.” Mumbled Zoe to Kate, who chuckled.
“A BIMBO!!!” Screamed the girl, finally.
“Oh, she did, did she?!” Growled the man, turning on Kate and Zoe.
There was a pause.
“What girls?” He said eventually.
The snobby and also sobby girl opened her eyes.

Kate and Zoe had taken a run for it.

|———————————> VII <—————————————|

Meanwhile, back at Jennifer’s little cottage, James was panicking. He was going to get caught any moment now. It was only a matter of time.
He ran back into the cottage and began frantically scanning the room for places to hide.
“I’ll get you, and when I do, i’ll blemish your backside like nobody’s business!” Shrieked Ursahara.
At the last second, James ducked under a desk.

The door exploded open, sunlight seemingly vanishing from the room.
The sun probably just went behind a cloud. Or did it?

She ominously dragged her walking stick behind her, muttering to herself.
Deja Vu, thought James.
How am I going to get out of this one?
As Ursahara came closer and closer, James scoured the room, once again, for an escape.
The window? He would be seen.
The door? It was blocked.
The rest of the house? Unknown. Never venture into unknown territory when you’re being hunted.

Suddenly, a familiar voice rang out.
“James? Jaaaaaames?” Called his sister.
Ursahara spun around.
“What the Fu Manchu?” She growled.
Kate and Zoe burst into the room.
“Ah! Ursahara! Have you seen my brother James?”
Ursahara stared, wild eyed.
“Who?”
“That weird kid with the UFO t-shirt and nerdy diary thing.”
“Heyyy!” Yelled James, jumping up from behind the desk.
“My journal isn’t nerdy!”
Ursahara’s pupils seemed to sharpen.
“IT’S THE LITTLE SCURVY KNAVE!!” She shrieked as she leapt through the air to tackle him.
James flung himself away from the woman, and, not sure what else to do, scooped up a big glob of cake mix and chucked it at her.
She stopped it with her stick like a Jedi from Star Wars deflecting a laser beam with their lightsaber.
“Stop! James! Stop!” Cried Kate over the din.
But it was no use.
James grabbed a broom and leapt at the old hag with it, but she blocked it, once again, with her stick.
Eventually, Kate and Zoe stopped trying to intervene, sat down and started cheering.
“Zoe is getting Star Wars vibes!” Zoe squealed.
“Bravo! Bravo!” Clapped Kate.

James had watched a lot of Star Wars, so he knew more or less how to utilise his weapon.
However, Ursahara seemed to have been trained by an actual Jedi, because she seemed to know exactly what she was doing.
She finally managed to disarm James, and shove him down.

Unfortunately, as James fell down, he grabbed onto whatever he thought would keep him upright.
This turned out to be a small stool, about the hight of his ribs almost like a pedestal, with a very fancy porcelain bowl-looking thing with little struts.
Everyone in the room held their breath and clenched their fists as the bowl teetered on the edge of the stool.

Eventually, it stopped wobbling and settled down.
Everyone sighed in relief. Which turned out to be a big mistake, because the massive amount of air that was blasted out of their mouths shoved the fragile porcelain bowl off the stool, causing it to hit the floor and shatter into a million pieces.
A darkish mist seemed to rise from it and make strange whispering noises, but it disappeared almost immediately.
Everyone stood in silent shock, staring at the broken bowl.
“Oh no…that’s…that’s Jennifer’s favourite cooking pot…”
Zoe breathed.
“The one that she liked so much she never used it!”
“That’s another job to add to the to-do list.”
James gathered all the bits and put them in a bag.
Everyone was worried, but Ursahara was literally panicking.
“You-you have no idea what this actually means! By destroying that thing, you’ve dumped us all in a massive pile of-“
James turned on Ursahara.
“What?! You think I did this on purpose?!” He yelled.
“What else am I supposed to assume?! You were spying on me, you poxy little delinquent!”
“What’s that got to do with anything?!”
“EVERYTHING!! You think i’m one of those magical monsters you draw in your stupid little diary!”

James’s face went red, and he made that growling-screaming fuming noise that you make when you’re really, really mad.

He scraped a big gob of cake goo off the wall and hurled it at the old woman.
She dodged once again with those lightning quick reflexes, causing the gob to fly across the room and hit one of Jennifer’s favourite paintings of a hand with an eye on it.
Splat.
Everyone froze as they did when the bowl thingy was smashed, but for a different reason.
The flying gob of cake mix must have triggered something, because the painting sunk back into the wall with an ominous rumble and a door seemed to open behind the wallpaper.

“Woah.” Breathed Zoe. Everyone muttered in agreement.

James whipped out his camera and slowly approached the patch of floppy wallpaper.
It was wobbling around, like there was a breeze hitting it from behind.
“What are you doing, you stupid boy! Get back! You don’t know what you’re doing!” Exclaimed Ursahara.
“ExCUSE me, but i’ll have you know i’ve watched several videos about ghosts and the paranormal and stuff and I will not hesitate to try and recall some of the fun facts if you say another word about me not knowing what i’m doing.” Barked James, spitting the words out with emphasis as he edged closer and closer to the wallpaper.

Everyone leaned forward in anticipation and he grabbed the wallpaper and ripped a chunk out of it, revealing the darkness behind it.

“AAAAAAAARRGH!!!” Screamed James.

|———————————> VIII <—————————————|

Everyone else jumped and instinctively screamed along with him.

The gaping hole he had created revealed a tunnel, made out of dark stone bricks with a few gnarly looking plants poking out of the cracks. On one side of the wall was a weathered metal rack with a dead rat, an empty test tube and a small plastic bucket lying haphazardly on it.
The tunnel led slowly down, with only candle hanging on the wall every five or so metres, so they could hardly make out anything in there.
“Why’d you scream?!” Yelped Kate.
“I dunno! I thought there was going to be something horrifying behind the wall, so I screamed because I was so surprised there was nothing!”
“That is literally the stupidest thing i’ve ever heard.”
“Shut up.”
“You shut up.”
“YOU shut up!”
“Fight! Fight! Fight!” Cheered Ursahara, punching the air.

While James and Zoe were bickering, Zoe noticed something.
And screamed.
“ARRRRRRRRGH!!” Screamed Zoe.
Everyone else jumped and instinctively screamed along with her.

“Why’d YOU scream?!” Yelped James.
“L-l-look!” She whispered, pointing a trembling finger at the rack.
“The rat’s alive! It just scampered away!”
“Big whoop.” Grumbled James, looking away before snapping his head back at the rack.

He walked forward and took the plastic bucket off the shelf, avoiding the spot where the apparently dozing rat had been.
“What is it, James?” Asked Kate nervously.
His face brightened.
“It’s GLUE!” He exclaimed. “Label says its the most powerful in the world!”
“But they all say that.” Grumbled Ursahara.
James ignored her.
“This is just what we need to fix that bowl thing!” He said excitedly.
He ran over to the sad-looking plastic bag in the corner of the room and took out two fitting pieces. He unscrewed the lid of the glue container and shoved a spoon into it, but all it met was plastic.
James swore.
“There’s no glue in it! There’s just a bunch of dry crust smeared on the outside.”
Kate peered over at the rack.
“And there’s no more over here.”
“Zoe guesses she know what this means.” Groaned Zoe.
“That we’re going to put the wallpaper back, clean up this room, go to the store and get some glue from there?” Asked Ursahara, her pupils moving independently of each other.

Everyone turned and fixed her with a look.
“What?” She grumbled.
“What a stupidly unusual thing to say when a literal doorway to an adventure is just sitting right in front of us?” Said James.
“We’re going to go into that tunnel and look for any more glue that might be in there!”
“That’s a long shot and you know it.”
“Rubbish. Where is your sense of adventure?”
Everyone murmured in agreement except Ursahara, who made a face and a very rude gesture at James when his back was turned.

“My sense of adventure is fine.” Muttered Ursahara.
“Yours, however, is much too eager to poke its nose where it doesn’t belong.”
“What?” Asked James, not turning around.

“Nothing, you stupid little brat.” Hissed Ursahara silently.

|———————————> IX <—————————————|

The mismatched quartet slowly crept down the tunnel, jumping at every creak, footstep and rat scampering past.
“Hmmm.” James mused.
“The fact that the candles aren’t burnt out means that somebody has been down here recently. So recent, in fact, that they still might be here.”
Everyone shuddered.
“Hey guys.” Said a familiar voice.
Everyone screamed and spun around.
It was the fat kid.
“It’s just me. I just saw you go into this cool cubby house and I decided to follow you. Also, pro tip: don’t try and lick the melted wax from the candles.”

Everyone screamed louder.
“Oh, and I found this cute little guy running around in the corridor.” He said, holding the sleepy rat from earlier in his hand.
and took off running down the tunnel.
“SHOULDN’T WE CONSIDER WHERE THIS TUNNEL IS GOING BEFORE CHARGING DOWN IT?!” Yelled James over the din.
“NOPE!! DEFINITELY NOT!!” Kate shouted back.
“Welp, I guess i’ll follow you guys then.” The fat kid said.

The tunnel slowly began to slope down, and the quartet, or rather, the quintet began to pick up speed.
“ZOE CAN’T STOP! WHY CAN’T ZOE STOP?!!” Screamed Zoe.
“Wheee!” Cheered the fat kid, his cheeks flapping in the wind like a dog with its head sticking out the window of a car on a motorway.
“My back! My legs! My back! My legs!” Screeched Ursahara in a high-pitched, keening voice like a rat that had stubbed its toe.

Suddenly, the tunnel suddenly disappeared into a huge drop, and everyone was flung into the inky blackness.

|———————————> X <—————————————|

James awoke to himself being dragged by his feet across a hard, damp and uneven stone floor.
It was so pitch black he wasn’t even sure if his eyes were open or not, so he had no idea who, or what, was pulling him along.
He was so frightened he didn’t even move.
He just began sweating.
A lot.

“Pleraguh!” Groaned the grating but in this case very welcome voice of Ursahara.
“Damn, this little brat’s feet smell worse than his breath.”
“Ursahara!” James cried, wriggling out.

“Oh great, it’s awake.” Grumbled the woman.
James looked around.
“Where are the others?”
Ursahara grunted.
“Uh…Ursahara?”
“THERE!!” She yelled. James could hear her cloak rustling.
“WHERE?!” James screamed back.
“WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, YOU LITTLE RATTISH RABID…Oh, right.” She mumbled.
“Everyone’s still unconscious. I was trying to drag you to everyone else so you didn’t freak out when you woke up.”
James could sort of see the reason behind that, but Ursahara’s voice sounded guilty.
He was about to inquire further when he hit his head on something metal sticking out of the wall, fell down and swore loudly.
Somewhere to his right, Ursahara sniggered.
“Shut up” He grumbled.
“You shut up.”
“YOU shut up!”
James ran his hands along the metal sticky-out-y thing.
It was a bookshelf, made of some kind of extremely solid wood.
The first thing his hand came into contact with was some sort of pouch.
“What’s this?” Mumbled James as he unzipped it.
Suddenly, a blinding shaft of light shone out from the pouch, illuminating the room around them in a rather pretty greenish-blue colour and searing Ursahara’s retinas, who began screaming and swearing profusely.

Inside the pouch was a smallish, glowing crystal. James gingerly plucked it out and inspected it.
It’s like a torch, he thought.
The entire room’s walls were made of bookshelves, it seemed, and bizarre looking implements and cauldrons were scattered around the room.
The ceiling seemed to disappear in the blackness, and there was no sign of the tunnel everybody had fallen out of, so what had happened?
The bookshelves that lined the room had books on it, of course, from grand old leather-bound hardcovers to bundles of yellowed pieces of paper that looked like they had been ripped from a book and scrawled upon held together with a bit of twine that must have been replaced more than once.
But there were also racks of test tubes, small porcelain

“James!” Cried the voice of Kate behind him.
He spun around.
Everyone was either sitting up, rubbing their eyes or wandering around and groaning.
“What happened? What are we doing here?”
“I don’t know.” Said James, swivelling around to jab a finger at Ursahara.
“But I know you do! I know you have something to do with this! We see you skulking around Jennifer’s house, then all of a sudden she is ABSENT and YOU turn up, and you’ve chased me, sworn at me, started an enormous food fight, actually tried to attack me with your walking stick, and now we have ended up down here. Coincidence? I think NOT.”

Ursahara gave James a withering look as Kate stepped between them.
“James, honestly! You have to stop this! We’re stuck in some sort of…I dunno, warlock’s basement, and fighting is not going to help us find a way to escape!”
“Maybe the key to escape is James himself! He’s the one who shoved us into that godforsaken tunnel in the first place!” Growled Ursahara.
“Oh, you’re blaming my natural sense of curiosity now, you hideous old garbage woman!”
“Shut up!
“YOU shut up!”
“Fight! Fight! Fight!” Cheered the fat kid.
Kate whirled around.
“Wha- - you’re ENCOURAGING them to fight?!”
“Well, it seemed like the most sensible option at the time.” Grumbled the fat kid.
“AUGH! You stupid…dumb…stink-face!” Shouted Kate.
“Shut up.”
“You shut up!”
“YOU shut up!”
Zoe backed away as discreetly as she could. The effect was ruined when she banged her head on a bookshelf.
The noise distracted James from his argument.
“Oh, look! Zoe’s trying to sneak away! Where are you going?”
He gasped.
“It’s YOU! YOU wanted us to get trapped here!” Pointing an accusing finger at the girl.
“What? That is literally the dumbest thing Zoe has ever heard coming out of your mouth, JAMES.” She growled, stomping over to him.
“Yeah! James, what’s gotten into you?!” Kate said, rushing to back her friend up.
“Hey! You can’t just run away from our argument to start a new one! That’s cheating!” Called the fat kid after her.

“Says who?”
“Shut up!”
“YOU shut up!”

Soon, the entire room had erupted into shouts, curses and argument.
This went on for quite a while until the entire room got so fed up with their incessant bickering that it began rumbling so hard everybody fell down at once.

|———————————> XI <—————————————|

“What the heck is going on?!” Screamed James, even though the room was rumbling so loud his voice was engulfed by the mighty amount of noise.
The centre of a bookshelf did a somersault, the shelf part of it now facing into the wall and out of view, revealing a series of glowing crimson symbols, pulsing in an urgent manner.

James dropped his glowing crystal, causing it to fall to the ground and shatter like glass.
The room was engulfed in searing bright white for a split second and everything went black again.

James thought he was unconscious until he spotted the still-glowing symbols on the wall.
“What is that even supposed to mean?” Cried Kate’s voice somewhere behind him.
Ursahara hobbled closer to the symbols.
“It says, ‘Intruders keep out.’”
“How can you read that?!” James was so incredulous his voice was like a deranged mouse.
“Because its in English, stupid! The letters are just flipped and reversed.” The old woman shot back.
James looked back at the symbols and wondered how in the world he did not notice that before.
Suddenly, there was a creaking, clunking sound like machinery being triggered and the bricks that made up the stone floor began rising up and falling down like pillars.
“Guys! I’ve seen this before!” He called out to the others.
“Don’t let it carry you all the way up or it’ll squash you against the ceiling, and don’t let it take you down!”

“Duh!”
“Shut up.”
“You shut up.”
“Fight! Fight! Fight!”

|———————————> XII <—————————————|

Throughout the calamity that followed, James couldn’t help but wonder at Ursahara’s readiness for the pillars. She seemed to know exactly when one was about to fall, or shoot upwards.
“Help!” Screamed the fat kid as he was propelled up into the air by the pillar.
Everyone looked away immediately, and waited for the horrible squelching noise that was to come.
Strangely, all they heard was this:
“Guys! I’ve figured it out!”
James was incredulous. The fat kid? Figured something out? He had never heard those words put together in the same sentence before.
“You have to let it take you to the ceiling, and then you press up on the bricks! I think if you press all of them, it opens a door or something!”

James let the pillar take him to the ceiling.
As he pressed on the brick above him, he heard a rumble and a click as the stone sank into the ceiling.
“He’s right! It works!” He exclaimed.

The fat kid muttered something about why James’s voice had an element of surprise to it, but James didn’t hear.

Eventually, the last stone was pushed and the red symbols flashed green, and the wall fell away.
Literally. It fell backwards and smashed into the ground with an earsplitting boom.
The room it revealed seemed to be bathed in complete darkness.
“Is that a way out?” Asked Zoe, shielding her eyes from the sudden light.
“Only one way to find out.” Said James as he crept into the darkness.

|———————————> XIII <—————————————| |

As they walked into the room, candelabras on the ceiling flickered into life, bathing the room in a green-blue colour, like the crystal James had before he smashed it.
On closer inspection, it actually was crystals giving off the light, except they were much, much bigger.
The cave was like a giant, gothic palace for some kind of vampire monarch. It was complete with an unnecessarily long dining table, towering theatrical columns, dangling banners with weird dappled patterns and symbols on them.
But most prominent of all was a grand throne, adorned with glowing crystals, fanning out to something like 2 metres across.

Everyone looked around in wonder. James pinched himself to make sure he wasn’t dreaming and wandered over to a closet.
He felt somebody breathing down his neck and spun around.
“Um…what are you doing?” He asked Ursahara awkwardly.
“Nothing. Carry on.” Said Ursahara, grinning like a cheshire cat that had just been given a giant bucket of fish.

James was disturbed enough by this until she flipped her eyeballs, revealing two bright green eyes with reptilian slitted pupils.

James let out a scream that sounded like a rat being strangled to death and hid in the closet, his heart thumping so hard he could have sworn his brain and his heart had swapped places.
He fell backwards into something fabric-y and sort of squishy.

A crystal-light globe flicked on.

He had fallen backwards into a bunch of bodies.
The paralysed, bodies of children seemingly made out of stone strapped to the wall that were missing their hands.

James fell backwards once again into the door, tumbling out of the closet.
He felt himself hit the floor.
He heard Kate’s alarmed yell from across the room.
And he saw Ursahara, with her wide smile and reptilian eyes staring down at him.

|———————————> XIV <—————————————|

James awoke for the second time that day to being dragged by his feet.
“James, wake up, WAKE UP!!”
James opened his eyes and saw Ursahara soaring above him.

He immediately wriggled away from Kate and was forced to duck when Ursahara swooped him.
“She can fly.” Kate said simply.
Ursahara’s “wings” appeared to be her cloak, and she was somehow using it to get aloft.

Her bare, hand-like feet lashed out like an eagle snatching a rabbit and grabbed James by the hair.
“Ow! Owowowowowowowowow heeeeelp!” He cried.

“Get out of the way!” Yelled a voice.
James barely had the time to look up before he saw the huge body of the fat kid barrelling down from the unnecessarily long table.
Ursahara screeched like like a velociraptor as she was smacked out of the air and crash-tackled onto the hard floor.
Ursahara kicked him off, sending him flying into Kate.
“Enough games!” She shrieked in an otherworldly voice.

She snapped her fingers.
A green spark flew out and hit the fat kid square in the stomach, which began shrinking rapidly, until he looked like a rake dressed in inflated balloon clothes.
He squealed like a pig stuck in a gate.
“My one true strength!” He screamed.
“Make room for Zoeeeeee!” Cried Zoe as she ran towards the old woman, brandishing her umbrella.
Easy as the first level of a video game, Ursahara batted the umbrella out of Zoe’s hand and flicked her glasses of her head.
Zoe squealed and began running around blindly, flapping her arms like a penguin trying to take off.

“What do you want from us?” Yelled James, struggling to keep his voice under control.

Ursahara flicked her wrist, sending James flying backwards into one of the towering theatrical columns.
He expected searing pain all through his body, but he crashed straight through it, causing it to break into a million, oddly shaped pieces.
He was rained upon by the fragments, and it was then he realised that they weren’t fragments at all.
They were hands.

Severed human hands.
And hundreds of them.

|———————————> XV <—————————————|

James looked around the room in panic.
Everything in the room except the walls, floor and the ceiling was made of hands.
The throne, the table, the columns, the banners, the candelabras.
Everything.

Ursahara cackled like a psychotic hyena who had just been told a rather hilarious joke.
“That’s right.” She growled as the doors of all the closets in the room slammed open and the paralysed bodies floated out, their faces frozen with a look of despair.
“I steal human hands to create my masterpiece.” She said, gesturing around the room.
“AND YOU’RE MY NEXT PROVIDERS!!!!” She screeched as she shot out a hand in a grasping, clawing motion.

Everyone’s heads were wrenched back and their hands thrust forward by an invisible force.
They began to glow, and then flicker.
Soon, with a blinding flash, they disappeared, leaving them with perfectly flat stumps at the ends of their arms.

“Thank you for donating your hands to cause.” She said as their hands scuttled out of her robe on their fingers.
“Your hands will be safely stored in my HAND BANK.” The gang’s hands scuttled over to the pile of old hands that used to be the column, and immediately began reconstructing itself.

“Actually, on second thought, you won’t come again, because i’m going to paralyse your bodies and hands don’t grow back.”
She muttered, stomping her foot down into a wide stance and then throwing her arms in the air.

“Heeeelp! Zoe’s being turned to stone!” Zoe screamed as black, gnarly rock crept up her legs.
Eventually, it engulfed her entire body, her terrified screams echoing throughout the room.
“WOAH, that is MESSED UP!!” Shouted James as he began climbing up on the table, trying to ignore the fact that he was treading on human hands.
“Everyone! The stone can only get you when you’re on the ground! Climb up onto something!” He called.

“GET YOUR FEET OFF THE TABLE!!!” Roared Ursahara.
“Gaaah!” Cried James as the hands that made up the table began surging towards him.

Kate, who had began scaling a column, was grabbed by the hands and pulled inside.
The fat kid, whose name did not suit him as much anymore tried to climb up onto the throne.
The throne disassembled and grabbed him by the hair, shirt, arms and legs until he was completely smothered by the disembodied hands.

All 3 of our remaining protagonists were thrust onto the cold stone floor.

As the stone began creeping up their legs, James couldn’t help but feel irritated that he wouldn’t even have the courtesy of writing about hand witches in his journal.

Suddenly, a section of a wall to the right disappeared, and for a moment 3 haunched figures were silhouetted in the light.

Ursahara seemed throughly disturbed by this and everyone suddenly stopped turning into stone.
“Wha…already? You said you’d be gone for the next week or so!” She hissed.
“We said that to trick you.” Said one of the figures in a familiar voice as it stepped out of the light.
The three humans in the room gasped, for the leader of the 3 figures was Jennifer.

|———————————> XVI <—————————————|

She noticed James and the others.
“What are these humans doing here? And what’s more, what are these human children doing here?”
Suddenly, her eyes widened.
“James?! Zoe?! Kate?! The fat kid?!”
Jennifer seemed just as shocked as the others.

“I told you SPECIFICALLY not to harm these particular children! I told you right before I left!!”

Ursahara stared at the humans blankly.
“No, you didn’t.” She said flatly.

“YES, I DID!!!!” Roared Jennifer in a voice so loud James tried to cover his ears with his handless stumps.

Ursahara’s eye blinked individually.
“Oops. They were to be assets of my masterpiece, sisters.” She said dumbly.

“SISTERS?!” Cried James from the ground, struggling against the hands pinning him down.
Ursahara gave James a kick.
“Jennifer is the leader of a coven of witches living beneath the town?!” He cried again, ignoring Ursahara, who promptly kicked him again and poked him with her stick for good measure.

Jennifer and the smirked and spoke in series.

“Little Gwendolaka has really told you nothing, has she?” Said the Jennifer.
“Witches were once a part of the human race, centuries ago.” Said the first of the other two.
“But then the humans got jealous of our powers, and they turned on us.” Said the second of the other two.

“The witch burnings of medieval times!” Zoe called out.
The witches smiled.
“Precisely. I see you humans have gotten smarter in the time we’ve been living in the shadows. Hiding underground.”

Ursahara growled in frustration as she waved her hand as if waving away a nasty smell and flung each of the humans to the other side of the room, ignoring their alarmed shouts.
“ENOUGH about the humans. BEHOLD!!!” She yelled theatrically as the hands began scampering back into place.
“My MASTERPIECE!!!” She gestured around the room at the hand-themed decorations, as if she was a door-to-door salesman trying to persuade somebody to buy their useless item.
“CUE APPLAUSE!!”

The 3 elder witches just stood there, disappointed looks on their faces.
“We give you an entire year, and THIS is what you come up with?”
Jennifer and the elders began tutting.

Ursahara began spluttering like a lawnmower who had just been driven over a muddy puddle.

“B-b-b-b-but this…it took so many children to manipulate and deceive…can I at least get partial credit?”
The 3 elders shook their heads and tutted like Ursahara was a child who had just come home with a big fat F on their essay.

“Wha…wait. Her name’s Ursahara, not…” Kate started, but her voice trailed off when the Jennifer and the others cracked up.

“Ur…Ursa…Ursahara?!” One of the witches managed to gasp.
“That’s literally the stupidest cover name I could think of.”

“Wait. So your name isn’t Ursahara? I knew it!” James declared triumphantly, only to be met with yet another kick.

“No! It’s Gwendolaka.” Mumbled…well, Gwendolaka.

“That’s a stupid name.” Mumbled the fat kid, still a bit sore over his sudden skinniness.

“Gwendolaka, I hate to say it, but you have once again failed your initiation.” Said Jennifer.
“You will have to wait till next decade for the next round of testing.”

“The next decade?!” James said incredulously.
“But Ursa…I mean, Gwendalukey or whatever her name is will probably have…well, kicked the bucket by then.”

Gwendolaka sneered.
“Foolish human. Even at your young age, I will outlive you by CENTURIES!!!”

Jennifer sighed.
“I’m sorry you had to see this children, and i’m sorry I have to wipe your minds.

Everybody began protesting, their voices overlapping one another until a blinding flash illuminated the room, and everyone fell unconscious…

|———————————> XVII <—————————————|

…All except for James.
He looked around in confusion.
“Wh…what? Why…why didn’t you mind wipe me?” He asked.

Jennifer smiled with genuine warmth for the first time today.
“James, you are special. I could see it in you since the moment you and your sister walked into my baking club.”

James’s eyes widened. Could it be true?

“You, James…Have a special talent. You have magic.”
James gasped. And then choked on his gasp.
And then gasped on his choke.
(What?)

Jennifer held out her hand.
“I am offering you something that I only offer to humans once a century. In fact, I offered little Gwendolaka over here this same opportunity about 129 years ago now. James, would you like to become my apprentice?”

Gwendolaka made a half-gasp, half grunt of indignation.
“Amethyst, what the barvola do you think you’re doing?!” (There is no use translating this word as it would be censored.)
“You never accepted me into this gosh darn coven until I had gone through, like, thousands of tests initiation tests!”
Jennifer scowled.
“I made you go through so many tests because compared to James here, you are weak in magic.”
Gwendolaka just stood there, eyes wide and stuttering.
“Wha…I…h…b…o-oh, yeah?”
“Ooooh, somebody call an ambulance! I heard an old hag just got seriously BURNED.” Cracked James.

Gwendolaka’s face went red and steam started coming out of her pointy ears.

“Well? Yes or no? Quickly, boy! My arm’s getting tired!” Said Jennifer.

“Yes, I accept.” Said James, taking Jennifer’s hand.

Suddenly, James remembered the to-do list.
We’ve already taken care of the stains, because all the old ones, the only ones that Jennifer told us to clean up were on the wallpaper that I ripped off to reveal the tunnel leading down here. But what about the pot?

He spotted something in the corner of the room and ran over to it.
It was a bucket of glue.
“Mind if I keep this?” James asked.

|———————————> XVIII <—————————————|

“WWWWEEEEEEELLLLLLLLCOOOOOMMMMMMEEEEE EVERYBODY, TO- -“ The announcer’s extremely loud voice was cut short by his microphone, who made a noise like it secretly wanted to be a mosquito that had a lot of experience piloting jets.

Everyone in the audience, along with the contestants, covered their ears and groaned.

“Heh. Sorry, folks. ANYWAY, WEEEEEEELLLLLLLLCOOOOOMMMMMMEEEEE TO THIS TERM’S BAAAAAAKING COMPETITION!!!!!!!!” He practically screamed into the microphone.

“We have our first three representatives from each club. For Baking Block: Kate, James, and Zoe!” He declared swinging an arm in the nervous trio’s direction.
James shoved his hands in his pockets and did a very discreet wave, Kate flapped her arms around like a pair of windsocks battling a tropical cyclone and Zoe performed a very deep bow, causing her glasses to fall to the ground with an audible clunk.

“And for Kirkle Cupcake Club, we have Veronica, Clarissa and Ruby!” He said swinging his other arm at the pompous trio, accidentally throwing his microphone to the heavens in the process.
Clarissa, the pompous girl Kate and Zoe had encountered before the whole misadventure began (Not that they could remember it) sneered across the stage at Kate’s team, who promptly stuck their tongues out at them.
“Oops. Well, let the baking begin!” He declared hastily as he ran to retrieve his microphone.

Most of the competition went like this:

Both teams concocted some amazing cakes.
At one stage, Kate’s team made a cake shaped like a rather goofy-looking dragon, and all Clarissa’s team did was sneer at it and make an enormous castle-shaped chocolate cake.
At one part of the battle, Clarissa totally dominated.
At another, Kate won out.
It was a long, drawn out stalemate.

Eventually, the last round finally came.
And they were still tied.
“Okay, now for the sugar.” Said Kate, sprinkling a coarse powder into the mixture.
“Hang on.” She said, sniffing the batter. “Now it smells really salty.”
“I think I know why!” Cried Zoe, her voice distraught, pointing at the label on the jar.
It said “sea salt”.
The trio stared at the disaster they had just created.
“I’m sorry, guys. I ruined this.” Moaned Kate in despair as Clarissa noticed their expressions and began laughing.
James’s mouth turned into a grim slash of determination.
He reached into his bag and pulled out a tiny little capsule.

It was filled with what looked like green glitter.
“Here, put this in!” Said James frantically.
“Our time’s running out!”
Kate looked at him doubtfully.
“James, that’s glitter.”
“Kate!” He said, looking his sister dead in the eyes.
“Trust me.” He said slowly.
Kate nodded slightly, opened the capsule, and sprinkled the glitter into the batter.
As she stirred it around, it seemed to spark and pop like popcorn in a volcano.
When it came out of the oven, it looked laughable.

Clarissa laughed at it, of course.
She said that if Kate’s team won, she’d cut off a hunk of her hair and eat it.
When it finally came round to judging, the judges described Clarissa’s cake as “Divine” and “Scrumptious” and told her she was the most gifted baker they had ever met.
Her smile was so searingly smug and toothy it could have blinded a mole.
“Well, here goes nothing.” Muttered James as he handed the judges what they had created.
It was a sort of squashed cylinder, with what looked like green glitter sprinkled all over it.
The judges did their best to hide their grimaces.

However, their slightly disgusted looks were instantly wiped off their faces when they savoured a slice of the cake.
They said they had never tasted anything like it.
It was, in their words, “Deliciousness in it’s purest form.”

“Did you hear that, Clarissa?” Asked James.
“It was ‘deliciously divine’.” Smirked Zoe.

Clarissa screamed for her daddy once again, but he was away at a party.

Kate’s team was swept up by the rest of the attendees in Baking Block, laughing and cheering.

Especially Jennifer.
“So, I take it your potion worked, then?” She whispered to James.
“Yes, it did.”

The next day, Gwendolaka cursed and spat and “impish knave”-ed all over the place, but finally admitted that James was indeed quite a great sorcerer.

“Thanks, Gwendo. But i would never have become an apprentice to the world’s most powerful magician and learned so much more than the average witch if you hadn’t decided to do a terrible project for your test.”
Gwendolaka went red.
“YOU’RE PUSHING IT, YOU LITTLE GOBLIN!!!”
“Shut up.”
“You shut up.”

The End.
🧙 🧙 🧙
(∩🌔 ͜ʖ🌔)⊃━☆ﾟ.*